What? You don’t believe me? Well see for yourself:
Morthûl, the dreaded Charnel King, has failed.
Centuries of plotting from the heart of the Iron Keep, deep within the dark lands of Kirol Syrreth-all for naught. Foiled at the last by the bumbling efforts of a laughable band of so-called heroes, brainless and over-muscled cretins without sense enough to recognize a hopeless cause when they take it on. Machinations developed over generations, schemes intended to deliver the world into the Dark Lord’s hands, now devastated beyond salvation. But the so-called forces of Light have paid for their meddling with the life of Princess Amalia, only child of the royal family of Shauntille.
Now, as winter solidifies its icy grip on the passes of the Brimstone Mountains, disturbing news has reached the court of Morthûl. King Dororam, enraged by the murder of his only child — and accompanied by that same group of delusional upstart “heroes” — is assembling all the Allied Kingdoms, fielding an army unlike any seen before. The armies of Kirol Syrreth muster to meet the attack that is sure to come as soon as the snows have melted from the mountain paths, but their numbers are sorely depleted. Still, after uncounted centuries of survival, the Dark Lord isn’t about to go down without a fight, particularly in battle against a mortal! No, the Charnel King still has a few tricks up his putrid and tattered sleeves, and the only thing that can defeat him now may just be the inhuman soldiers on whom he’s pinned his last hopes.
Welcome to the Goblin Corps. May the best man lose
This is just like when Simon Pegg wrote that movie based on my life as relayed through a zombie metaphor. Or very similar to how this guy stole my name to make an acting career for himself on 90210. (No, Mr. Moosekian, you cannot have my Twitter name.)
Then again, maybe this is all coincidence and I’m simply an egotistical idiot with a blog babbling about how great I am via other people’s clearly far superior work…
The cool news is that you can learn all about Ari Marmell at his website, which is cleverly entitled Mouseferatu. But perhaps it is just another coincidence that I happened to show a few minutes of Nosferatu (and D. W. Griffith’s Intolerance, incidentally) in my Survey of American Literature course today… Yeah, coincidence. That’s it.
In any case, you can get The Goblin Corps right now! It’s available. Everywhere.
P.S.: Pyr is awesome.