The Black Santa Chronicles (or, Why Size Really Matters)

This is the story of Black Santa and his wife, Black Santa’s Wife.  They also go by Black Father Christmas and Black Father Christmas’ Wife (I assume the missus has a proper name or title of her own, but I can’t find it).
Don’t they look like a happy couple?  Well, perhaps not, but that may have more to do with my brother’s photography skills and subject placement than anything else.  Still, with that bushy beard and the beautiful purples and pinks and those adorable gold wings, you’d think they’d be a happy couple (unless, of course, that additional statue in the background is there to imply that Black Santa is, in fact, an unfaithful jerk; but that would be too easy a stereotype, now wouldn’t it?).
Now let’s bring White Santa into the picture, shall we?

Wait a tick…is White Santa really that much taller and larger than Black Santa?  Yes, he is.  And while I would love to think this is all an unfortunate misunderstanding — that, in fact, there is a small version of White Santa too, and vice versa for Black Santa.  But no such figure was available in the Michael’s we visited that day.  Rather, there were one or two giant White Santas and a whole bunch of tiny Black Santas, implying more that Black Santa is akin to a helper elf than a proper Santa for anybody who likes to think that the race of Santa really doesn’t matter.  (Of course, White Santa’s Wife was not in large form either, though I have no picture to prove that.)
If I were a betting man, I’d gather most people would see a problem with the size differential.
Has anyone seen anything like this before?

About the Author:

Shaun Duke is an aspiring writer, a reviewer, and an academic. He is currently an Assistant Professor of Digital Rhetoric and Writing at Bemidji State University. He received his PhD in English from the University of Florida and studies science fiction, postcolonialism, digital fan cultures, and digital rhetoric.

2 thoughts on “The Black Santa Chronicles (or, Why Size Really Matters)

  1. This reminded me of John Green's 'Paper Towns' in which one of the mc's friends's parents has the world's second largest collection of black Santas which is displayed in their house all-year-round.


  2. As the brother, I have to remind you that there were a few white Santa's the size of the black Santa. They were just hidden elsewhere, and I'm almost certain that I did point them out at some point.

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