A Walmart Fail: A First For Me, or How Books and Girlie Things Are Related


Today was supposed to be an amazing day.  Last week I ordered a new bookcase from Walmart after discovering I could fit one more in my apartment and move some of my books from the tops of bookshelves and the floor to an appropriate place (I also ordered a pair of pillows, but there’s nothing interesting about that).  This morning I checked Fedex, saw that my package was being delivered today, and suddenly grew very excited.  Bookshelves do that to me.  But when I opened the package, this is what I discovered (after the fold):

That’s right.  Twelve pairs of black, high-heel shoes with flowers on them.  Clearly shoes and bookcases have a lot in common.  They’re of the same genus (litteraeus), they look remarkably the same (wood and shoe fabric clearly being made from the same source–a tree), and are obviously kept in the same department and used for exactly the same things.

Except…all of that is a load of crap.  They’re clearly not alike in any way, shape or form.  Hell, they’re not even kept in the same bloody department.  Have you ever been inside a Walmart where the shoes and the books were literally in the same place?  No, of course not, because they are more closely tied into apparel than they are books (which are usually near all the media stuff, like DVDs, because both are about frakking stories).

So, how was your day?

Update:  The bookshelf came at about 5:25 PM EST.  The Fedex guy has no idea what happened.  They sent two packages to me, apparently, and one of them wasn’t supposed to go to me at all.  Fun, huh?

About the Author:

Shaun Duke is an aspiring writer, a reviewer, and an academic. He is currently an Assistant Professor of Digital Rhetoric and Writing at Bemidji State University. He received his PhD in English from the University of Florida and studies science fiction, postcolonialism, digital fan cultures, and digital rhetoric.

8 thoughts on “A Walmart Fail: A First For Me, or How Books and Girlie Things Are Related

  1. This could only happen to you. So I guess this begs the question of where are you going to wear them? Do you have a special night coming up. A dance or ball perhaps? Or just a night on the town with the girls? 😉

  2. Mad Hatter: I have no intention to wear them. I don't drink, so there's likely never going to be a time when I might accidentally or unwillingly wear them either…

    And I wish I could have a night on the town the girls. Girls just wanna have fun, as the saying goes 😛

    Especially nerdy/geeky girls, because they like bookstores.

Leave a Reply