Chapter Thirteen: Of Arnur and the Fall (Part Two)
(Note: This is not official version and may be removed in the near future. This do not reflect what is read in the podcast version, nor any other version you may encounter. I have preserved the rough form for posterity — or something like that. This novel has since been rewritten.) When James woke dawn was rapidly approaching, encroaching over the tip of the mountains like a massive hazy beast. Thin clouds filled what little of the horizon he could see—little more than a thin hole through the foliage around Arnur. He stopped all fantasies that he was home from filling him with sadness. Deep down he had hoped that he would simply wake up in a hospital somewhere with his parents looking over him with joyful faces. But now he discarded those thoughts, however happy and warm, and came to the full realization that he truly was stuck in another world. Yet, one thought managed to make him smile: he had traveled farther than anyone else likely had. That made him, in an ironic way, a hero in the same way that Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin were hailed after returning to Earth. He reminded himself that he would likely never get the same welcoming because despite anything he would do in Traea, only the narrow minded people in Woodton, his parents included, would know anything at all about where he had been. James sat up. His bones creaked; his muscle protested. He hurt in places where old wounds, now only noticeable by discolored lines, had plagued him. His hands traced over where the Lyphon had dug its malicious claws into him. I’ll have no scars to show when I get home. James turned and nearly swallowed his tongue as he came face to face with two white marbles and an infinite shadowy blackness. He leaped up, stumbled as his blanket wrapped around his ankle as if it were alive, and then tumbled backwards with a yelp on top of a tiny figure. Pea, having been squashed by someone twice his size, cried out and became tangled in the mess that James had created. The two of them caused such a ruckus that Darl woke violently from his slumber, jumped up, sword in hand, and began turning hazy eyed this direction in that as if he expected to be attacked at any moment. Then, as suddenly as it had all started, all went silent. James stood and helped Pea up. He brushed himself off and glared at the Lean. Darl, however, hadn’t grasped that nothing bad had happened at all, holding his sword in exhausted desperation. “Put that thing down before you hurt someone,” Pea said, waving a tiny hand in Darl’s direction. “I’m sorry. It…he was just there. Scared me. I freaked,” James said. Darl still didn’t grasp what was going on. “You can stay there all morning if you like.” James snickered. “Suit yourself. I say we get something actually worthwhile to eat. I don’t blame you for avoiding that strange culinary invention last night. It did taste better than it smelled. It looked better than it tasted though.” James grinned and followed Pea to the fire, which has smoldered to glowing gem-like embers. With a simple work of magic Pea had the fire crackling. Then Pea produced two eggs from his pack, found two thin sticks, and gave one of each to James. “The thing about Fidget Fowl is their eggs stay good for weeks when you boil them,” Pea slowly broke the shell of his egg and peeled it off. “And, they taste even better roasted on fresh flames.” Then Pea stuck the egg on his stick and placed it in the fire. James followed suit. He watched the egg brown in the flames and expected that the whites would be set ablaze at any moment. But no such event occurred. He simply retrieved the egg from the fire and looked at the smoking oval. “Like roasting marshmallows,” he said. “What?” “Marshmallows. They’re a sugary squishy pillow. You cook them just like this over the fire. They’re good.” “I’ve never met a pillow that I thought tasted good. Not to mention I’ve never tasted a pillow with the intention of eating it…” He rolled his eyes. “They’re not really pillows.” “Perhaps not, but describing something as a pillow doesn’t make it very appetizing now does it?” “No, I guess not.” “Now these?” Pea indicated his egg. “These are not a pillow. As far as I am concerned they represent all that is good about the food in this world.” Then Pea plopped the egg in his mouth and chewed it roughly. James waited for his egg to cool, and when it did he took a small bite. He had had Fidget Fowl eggs before, but never like this. The flavor exploded in his mouth in a flurry of spices. He tasted fine garlic, rosemary, and a dozen other flavors that he could only describe as supreme. They banged his taste buds mercilessly with their goodness and he found himself gobbling the remainder of the egg like a starving man. With the egg devoured he hoped that Pea had another. But no other came and he felt slightly depressed. At some point during their conversation Darl had put down the sword and begun shoving everyone’s things into their appropriate places. When James turned back to his spot he found everything in perfect order, ready to be hauled at any moment. “I think it wise you receive at least some sort of lesson from me today,” Pea said. James nodded enthusiastically. He had been waiting for this for some time, but it seemed as though fate had taken every measure possible to prevent it from happening. “A light lesson today. You’ve fiddled enough with your magic, but the first thing you have to understand about it is this. If you don’t know how to funnel and control your magic you’re going to continue going around passing