I Must Apologize…

I am not going to be able to get the chapter up this weekend. I’m trying, but the following is the cause of my inability to write:
Yesterday was actually a good day. I drove down with my friend to UCSC to visit the campus. I’ve decided I want to go there. We went, we came back, all was well. The lady at my work had a pair of geckos she wanted me to take from her stepson, so when we got to her house on the way home I went to go get them. One of the geckos had died, so they had buried him, and the second one which they had said was just “a little thin” turned out to be far worse. This is what is causing me grief and preventing me from finishing the chapter (I have 8 pages written…but it’s not enough).This animal is in the worst condition I have ever seen one in. I own 11 of this specific breed (Leopard Gecko) and have had my fair share of issues, but nothing like this, and in fact I would never let it get like this. This is unacceptable in my opinion. The animal has a disease called “Metabolic Bone Disease”, which basically caused deformities in its bones. It also has a lot of other issues which I can’t name, and who knows if it has parasites. Its legs are the shape of U’s. He can walk on them, but barely. His jaw and face are deformed because of a lack of calcium and MBD. He has saggy skin and his tail is just skin and bones. Here is an example, but not nearly as bad as this little fella is, of what a healthy leo should look like, and an unhealthy one:
You can obviously guess what a healthy one looks like. The unhealthy one in the picture has MBD. You can see the deformities.
The leo I took has swollen shut eyes, one of which it managed to open and looks to have some sort of terrible eye infection. I’m surprised the poor thing can even lift its head.
This is what has caused me so much grief in the last 12 hours. I am in a horrible position right now. This animal is suffering. I should put it to sleep. There is a very very very very very x infinity, remote chance this animal could survive, but most doors are looking towards death. I am sick to my stomach thinking about this because I hate the thought of putting animals to sleep. And EVEN MORE SICK to think that this animal shouldn’t have to be because if it had been cared for appropriately, taken to the vet MONTHS–yes months, not days, weeks, but MONTHS–ago it would likely have lived a very healthy life. It’s tearing me up inside because I cannot stand the thought of putting animals to sleep. It hurts so much. I’ve had to do it once and it killed me, but in that instance it wasn’t from neglect. The animal was attacked and I had no choice. This animal was neglected! It was left like this for months to suffer and get in this condition.
So I apologize everyone. I will do everything I can to get two chapters up next weekend, or try to get this chapter up in the middle of the week.
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