January 2008

World in the Satin Bag

Why I’ll Never Buy A Mac or Anything By Apple

This was all inspired by a recent viewing of this most excellent funny video about Bill Gates on his last day at Microsoft. It’s a spoof video with real people in it and it’s quite brilliant and an example of why Microsoft is so much better than Apple anyway. I have a lot of reasons besides being an avid Windows user as to why I will not buy anything from Apple. And here it is the list: iPods actually suck. I’ve used one. And everyone I know who has owned one has watched the darn thing die over and over. My sister’s broke, and a friend of mine had hers break at least six times. The batteries suck too. I have a Creative Zen Vision:M 30 GB and it can do a lot of things many of the iPods can and the darn thing is practically perfect. The iPhone is overpriced and Apple is being sued for some hundreds of millions over patent infringement. Seeing Apple products get blown up in movies makes me laugh. Seeing Microsoft products (except Windows ME) get blown up makes me cry. Windows is a superior operating system for a lot of reasons. In fact, it’s so superior that if not for Bill Gates making sure poor Apple stayed afloat it would have become a monopoly. Remember, you Apple folks owe it to Gates for your existence. Bow to Windows in all its glory. When Windows breaks you can fix it by yourself and it’s really not that hard. When Macs break it’s not the same. Jesus doesn’t like Macs. Yes, I’ve asked him. He told me in a dinner conversation with Joseph and Moses. By the way, apparently Lucifer is a huge mac fan. Not sure what that means, but he was banished to hell for a reason… I refuse to buy anything that freezes when I try to print a document. Yes, this happened to me on Campus. I clicked “print” and the window froze. I had no idea how to close it and neither did anyone else and I tried forcing the program to end and it wouldn’t. If Mac OS freezes on something that simple, why should I bother using it? You know what I have to do to get my Windows PC to freeze? I don’t because it rarely ever happens. The blue screen of death? Never seen it. The worst I’ve ever had with Windows is a virus, which was easy to remove. You might see it as a flaw that Windows has viruses, but remember that if the Mac takes any sizable portion of the OS market it will have virus problems too. And they are going to suck really bad. You know what I’ll be doing when that happens? Laughing so hard that milk shoots out my nose because it’s ACTUALLY FUNNY. And Apple will deserve it for the next thing on the list. Apple and Apple people lie…a lot. You know those cute little Mac commercials? They are 90% B.S. In fact, Apple should have an honorary B.S. degree for those things. They exaggerate everything as a smear tactic, which I think is remarkably pathetic. If Apple is so great, why should it have to smear Windows just to get a bone. I’ve yet to see Windows, the OS with class, do any such videos.As a rule, I don’t buy products from companies that have annoying commercials or smear the competition just as I don’t vote for politicians that do the same thing. If you want me to buy your product you should give me a reason to, not make me hate you. Microsoft doesn’t have DRM like Apple does in their iTunes market. DRM is stupid. Well, maybe they do, but I don’t know where it is and they’re not cramming it in my face like iTunes. iTunes sucks. I’ve used it, it sucks, it’s annoying, and I shouldn’t have to use some stupid program to put files on my mp3 player. I just drag and drop and Windows Media Player keeps my files all organized for me. The PC gods wrote on Stonehenge: “Windows doth rule.” Umm, because using Apple computers with Intel hardware to run Windows is way too much freaking work. I can just turn on my PC and Windows just goes. I can’t play my computer games on a Mac. I can’t do the things I can do on my Windows PC on a Mac, contrary to popular belief. I don’t need fancy programs and user-unfriendliness in an OS. I like my OS to be simple and easy to use. Windows is easy to use. “Start”…how much clearer could that button be? I refuse to join in to the pandering masses of Mac users who think Mac is the greatest thing since sliced bread. It’s not, get over it. It might be the greatest thing since sliced bread shaped as triangles, but it’s not better than sliced bread. I can’t make a sandwich out of a Mac. I already know how to use Windows. Why should I switch when Mac offers me nothing I want? That’d be like finding out that your Cheerios were turned into Cheerisquares and lost all nutritional value. Because people at Mac are stupid enough to build space probes and shuttles that use Mac software as a basis. Windows people aren’t because they know what will happen if the system crashes. Macs are sort of like that accident we had a while ago where the scientists forgot to convert properly into metric… Bill Gates is cooler than Steve Jobs. Did you watch the video? Yeah, so much better. Look at that A-list cast! In nature the following number sequence shows up in relation to all things coming to life: 23, 9, 14, 4, 15, 23, 19. In relation to all things dying you get: 13, 1, 3. (Yes, those the alphanumeric values of Windows and Mac…I worked it out) Because Mac people are delusional. When I

World in the Satin Bag

Heather Ledger Passed On Today

This has nothing to do with specfic, but it still is an impacting moment for me. I was a fan of Ledger ever since 10 Things I Hate About You. Brokeback Mountain and Four Feathers were both excellent films and he damn well deserved every bit of credit. He actually made me want to see that new Batman movie even though I’m not really a fan of Christian Bale and I’m one of those guys that gets pissed off when anyone other than Michael Keaton plays the dark knight. Needless to say, Mr. Ledger will be sorely missed by me, by his family, and by all those that loved his work. It’s sad that he had to go so young. His life was not yet lived and he had so many more great roles to play. This is a dampener on a relatively uneventful day. Goodbye Mr. Ledger… (You can read the article about it here) (Don’t click the read more, there isn’t any more after this!)

World in the Satin Bag

Interview w/ Zoran Zivkovic

Another interview! Thanks to Zoran for taking the time out of his day to answer my questions. Enjoy! SD: Could you please introduce yourself to the audience and talk a little about your history in the writing/publishing world? ZZ: I was born in Belgrade, the form Yugoslavia, in 1948. In 1973 I graduated from the Department of General Literature with the theory of literature. I received my master’s degree in 1979 and my doctorate in 1982. I am now professor of creative writing at Belgrade University.I started to write prose in 1993, when I was 45. In the next decade and a half I wrote sixteen books of fiction: The Fourth Circle (1993), Time Gifts (1997), The Writer (1998), The Book (1999), Impossible Encounters (2000), Seven Touches of Music (2001), The Library (2002), Steps Through the Mist (2003), Hidden Camera (2003), Compartments (2004), The Bridge (2006), Miss Tamara, the Reader (2006), Amarcord (2007), and The Last Book (2007).I am about to finish my new novel Escher’s Loops. SD: What are you currently reading, what do you plan to read, and what have you just finished reading? ZZ: I am currently re-reading Erasmus Roterdamus’ masterpiece In Praise of Folly. Prior to that I read with great pleasure Peter Woit’s excellent study Not Even Wrong. In early February I always read the same book: Jaroslaw Hasek’s The Good Soldier Svejk, one of the greatest novels of all times. SD: What are some of your writing influences? Who is your favorite author and/or what is your favorite book? ZZ: Any book by Mikhail Bulgakov, Milan Kundera, Jose Saramago, Tamar Yellin, Umberto Eco, Kazuo Ishiguro, Orhan Pamuk, Haruku Murakami… SD: What were some hurdles you faced when you first began taking your writing seriously? ZZ: I wrote extensively about my initial hurdles in the afterward of the US edition of my first novel The Fourth Circle (The Ministry of Whimsy Press, 2004). Here is an excerpt: When apparently there were no more publishers to whom my agent could submit The Fourth Circle, he stepped forward with an ingenious proposal. I should change my name. What do you mean, I asked incredulously. He meant I should choose a pen name, preferably something that would sound English. Like what? Well, we could try to find an analogous version of your original name. What would that be? After a brief etymological consideration, he boldly suggested: Donald Livingston. Why would I be Donal Livingston instead of Zoran Zivkovic? Can you really imagine, he asked, that anyone called Zoran Zivkovic would ever be able to publish anything in the USA? I could. He couldn’t. So, inevitably, we went our separate ways. SD: Do you have any strange writing habits? ZZ: My only writing habit is that I am a morning writer. I write only between 9 AM and about noon. SD: Since you write both science fiction and fantasy, what do you like about both genres? What do you think are some problems, if any, within each genre, given that you write and presumably read SF and fantasy? Did you have any difficulty crossing over? ZZ: I write neither science fiction nor fantasy. These are mere labels invented by the publishing industry. I consider myself a writer without any prefixes. Quite simply, a writer. A humble practitioner of the ancient and noble art of prose. SD: You write what would be called by a lot of people ‘magical realism’. This is very clear in “Seven Touches of Music” as many of the stories ‘flirt’ with the lines between the real and the imagined. What about this type of fantasy writing is appealing to you and why do you write such stories? ZZ: The term ‘magical realism’ was invented to gather under a single umbrella a number of Hispano-American authors active mostly in the second part of the 20th century. Although I have the greatest possible admiration for their invaluable contribution to world literature, I don’t consider myself a part of that tradition. My literary roots are predominantly Middle-European. I am an unworthy successor of such prose giants as Hoffmann, Kafka, and Bulgakov. SD: “Seven Touches of Music” is a collection of short stories that each use music as a common theme. When you began this collection did you intend for every story to use music in some way or did it just happen that way? Basically, how did this collection come together? ZZ: It came together basically just as any other book of mine. I woke up one sunny April morning back in 2001 and it was there, in my head. The entire book. All I had to do was to sit down at my desk and start typing. As simple as that. In my prose writing there are never any preparations. That would be fundamentally wrong in my case. SD: Tiffany, of Aio, told me in an email that she envisioned “The Violinist” as a story about Albert Einstein in his last days. After I thought about that idea it occurred to me that there could actually be some validity to such a thought. Is there any truth to Tiffany’s idea or is it intended to be somewhat mysterious? ZZ: There are plenty of clues for an attentive reader. The “Violinist” opens in a Princeton hospital. Einstein died in a Princeton hospital on April 18, 1955. His last physician was Dr. Dean, mentioned in my story. There is also his last nurse, Mrs. Roszel. I only left the dying professor unnamed. With a good reason… SD: This novel is an English translation from Serbian. As a literature student I have an interest in translated works and the world of translation. Since you speak both English and Serbian, could you talk a little about some complications of translating your work? ZZ: I was extremely fortunate to have on my side Mrs. Alice Copple-Tosic, an excellent translator. She has translated from my native Serbian to English all but two books of mine. So far she has received nothing but

World in the Satin Bag

Edelman’s Moral Quandaries (Pt. 4)–Dropping Nuclear Options

The concern over nuclear weaponry and nuclear power plants (or nuclear anything really) has been strong ever since we bombed Japan in WW2. As Edelman says: Once upon a time, two countries were idiotic enough to play a high-stakes game of chess where the stakes were the survival of the human race. You don’t like my way of governing? Fine, then let’s blow the whole place to hell and you can’t govern any of it. Figuring out how to get rid of these weapons so that nobody has the power to scour the planet clean is one heck of a challenge. There’s no Cold War anymore, but the odds of a nuclear war breaking out in either the Middle East or the Indian subcontinent are still much too high for us to ignore. (Personally, I don’t think the threat is going anywhere until some theoretical point in the future when we’re living so much of our lives virtually that physical threats just don’t make sense anymore.) Let’s face it, nuclear ‘anything’ has been a source of concern not only in our society (U.S.A.), but in the world in general. Nuclear power plants were thought to be the wave of the future of energy production, and in some ways they are. But in order to get to that point we had to pay a terrible price, and that price was of our international security. Other countries paid the same price, such as Russia, who, when they were the U.S.S.R., tried desperately to beat the U.S. in a deadly arms race and eventually in a space race that, while enormously beneficial, created even more problems for the world at large. While the U.S. space program has and will be the marker of great discoveries on our planet, in our solar system, and in the universe, it has also helped develop new ways to destroy other people and was built, in some respects, with the intention of doing so. ICBMs are, by nature, useful only in destroying targets far away and while the technology that created them did eventually spark a very promising space program that continues to be of value today, it also showed the world that the U.S. wasn’t playing games anymore. “We can hit you anyplace, anywhere, and any time.” What happened to this idiotic arms race was that we all came to realize how dangerous the world had become and how stupid it would be for any nation, organization, or individual to drop a nuclear weapon of any kind on anyone else, especially someone who has the means to retaliate with the same firepower. If the U.S.S.R. had at any time bombed the U.S. or an ally, who knows if the world would still be here, or if any of us would be alive (this is, of course, assuming that the U.S.S.R. actually had the financial means to deliver a payload of nuclear weaponry to any location outside of their sphere of influence, which, historically speaking, may have been nearly impossible at the time of the Cold War).    This, I’m sure, sounds like a purely negative argument on the part of nuclear creations, but there are some very good benefits of what was a frightening time in the world. Nuclear power, despite its faults, is efficient and, generally speaking, easy to use. Chernobyl and other such incidents were not markers of a failed network of power facilities, but an indicator of how stupid human beings can be when they try to mess with things they don’t yet understand (this is not a bash on Russia, as there were events in other locations where nuclear facilities became an issue, including the U.S., but Chernobyl is a prime example that everyone knows about). But there are benefits to the use of nuclear energy. Nuclear plants often use a large man made canal as a natural coolant. Such plants rarely, if ever, pollute these canals, but because the water is warmed up by the heat of the reactor, it provides a wonderful environment for a lot of little critters that otherwise would be hard pressed to find homes due to human expansion. This is prevalent in Florida where human encroachment has displaced a lot of gators and such.    The downside of power plants, obviously, is nuclear waste and the risk of leaks and explosions. That’s not to say we can’t find a use for nuclear energy. There is a use, at the moment, but the inevitable is that we are going to have to go with better sources that don’t have a downside (i.e. solar, wind, currents, etc.). Edelman is right that we have to wean ourselves off of this notion of keeping nuclear facilities and weaponry for protection or out of necessity.Of course, nuclear power plants aren’t Edelman’s primary concern. He’s concerned with nuclear weaponry, and I have to agree with him on that. First off, there are huge consequences with the use of nuclear weapons: massive destruction, nuclear fallout, nuclear winter, radiation, and severe environmental consequences when wind blows radioactive particles around. We can’t use nuclear weapons without screwing things up. There’s no magic radiation-eating machine. This means that when we use a nuclear weapon on a target, nobody can live there again for a very long time. There aren’t any people living in Hiroshima or Nagasaki, unless something has changed that I don’t know about, although people were living around the area where Chernobyl is for quite some time before being evacuated.    Second, nuclear weapons create fear and clearly we live in a time when such weapons may or may not be used. There are concerns that extremist groups may use nuclear weapons (suitcase bombs) on U.S. cities, and I’m not naive enough to say that such things are impossible. They are possible. That’s the problem. Nuclear disarmament is a must for EVERYONE, not just the U.S. It is idiotic for any nation to claim that the U.S. should be the one nation to disarm simply because we have used the

World in the Satin Bag

Interview w/ Karen Miller

Here is another interview for all of you. Thanks to Karen Miller for taking the time out of her busy schedule to answer my questions. I look forward to finishing The Awakened Mage. Here it is: SD: Thanks for doing this interview with me. I was very glad to receive a response back from you. First, would you tell us a little bit about yourself, such as the basic history of how you came to be a writer, what you’ve written in the past and recently (fiction or non-fiction), and the like. This is sort of the typical first question just to introduce you to people reading the blog. KM: And many thanks for asking!Like a great many writers, I’ve been scribbling stories for years. Ever since I was a child. My favourite classes in school were English, Composition, Creative Writing. All that stuff. When I left high school I went to university and did a communications degree. One of my majors was Creative Writing. I also majored in Literary Studies and FilmStudies, basically wrapping up my three favourite past times — reading, writing and watching film/tv drama.I always always always wanted to be a writer, but it took me a long time to grow into the person I needed to be in order to achieve that goal. While that process was happening I did a lot of different things — I worked in the public service, the insurance industry, thetelecommunications industry, the publishing industry, I was a PR officer in local government, I worked professionally with horses, I was a college lecturer and I owned/managed by own sf/fantasy/mystery bookshop for several years. That was the last ‘regular’ job I had before making the leap to professional writing. And while it wasunnerving, not being able to settle, I did gain a lot of useful experiences over those years that have in turn helped my writing. My favourite mantra is: Nothing learned is ever wasted. Or, Who cares if you’re bleeding? It’s all good copy!My first professionally published work was in Australia. I wrote three YA light romances. Then I started working on my first fantasy novel, The Innocent Mage. In 2005/6 Innocent Mage and its sequel were published in Australia as the Kingmaker, Kingbreaker duology, and then went on to be published in the US and UK in 2007. They were followed by my first Stargate novel, Alliances, and my current fantasy trilogy –Godspeaker. Bks 1 and 2 are out in Australia, and they’ll be published this year in the US/UK. Bk 3 comes out in Australia in June, and in the US/UK next year.I’ve got a new series starting to release in Australia this April, under a pen name. That’s also been sold to Orbit, but I don’t have any firm release information yet. I’ve just finished my next Stargate novel, Do No Harm, which is due out in a few months. Once I’ve completed Godspeaker bk 3 I move on to the next in the pen-name series, and in December I’ll deliver the first volume of the sequel duology to the first Kingmaker, Kingbreaker books.On the whole, it’s a good thing I don’t mind my own company. *g*SD: Speaking of Stargate, what is it like writing for shared-worlds? For others out there that don’t know what that term means, a shared-world is basically one in which people other than the original creator are allowed to write stories within the world, provided some rules are adhered to. Prime examples would be Dragonlance and Star Wars. So, for you, what were some problems or issues you had in writing for Stargate? Was it hard? How much research did you have to do? KM: In terms of working with MGM, the parent company who licences the franchise, or with the editors at Fanedomonium — no troubles at all. My experiences to date have been wonderful. As far as the work being hard is concerned, yes. It’s hard work. There’s a school of thought in the genre community that says media tie-ins are by definition low-brow crap written by talentless hacks who are too pathetic to write ‘real books’. To which I say: really? Honestly — if you’re going to accuse someone of being a talentless hack because they write about worlds and characters they didn’t personally create then almost every single tv scriptwriter on the planet is a talentless hack. For the record? Not so much.I take the Stargate novels I write very seriously because I’m a fan of the show, and before ever I was a professional writer I was a fan. I try to the very best of my ability to get it ‘right’ in terms of characterisation and dialogue, because I feel my job is to give the reading fans an authentic ‘Stargate’ experience.Having said that, though, the single biggest problem with writing fiction based on a tv how is that while all us fans are watching the same show, none of us is ‘seeing’ the same show. We bring individual biases and beliefs and interpretations to the source material. Which means that for some people, I will never get it right. And I need to make my peace with that. I pretty much have. I’m sad if someone’s disappointed with what I’ve written, but I know I’ve been true to the show I see to the best of my ability. Whatever I do I make sure I can point to aired material in support of my story — and boy, I watch and I watch and I watch and then I watch again. I have the show on dvd and it’s my constant reference source. SD: Your biography on your website talks about your various moves in life. Could you talk about what the transition was like when you moved from Canada to Australia and then to England, etc.? What sort of cultural challenges did you face? Was it difficult to adjust? How did this part of your life affect your writing, if at all? KM:

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