June 2008

World in the Satin Bag

What Middle Earth Race Do You Belong To?

Apparently I’m the following:Your result for The What Middle Earth race do you belong to Test… Elf You’re an Elf! You scored low in size, high in morality, high in aggression and high in intelligence to get here. The first and favorite race created by the Valar, the Elves have been in Middle Earth for many ages, and are currently the only race allowed to join their creators in Valinor. Blessed with eternal life, enhanced senses, great beauty, wisdom and skill, the race of Elves still has several black marks on it. (Kinslaying, anyone?) But hey, no one is perfect, right? Of course not, but the Elves are damn close to it. FYI, your polar opposite is the Troll. Take The What Middle Earth race do you belong to Test at HelloQuizzy Yup. Cool, huh? (Don’t click the read more, there isn’t any more after this!)

World in the Satin Bag

Good Lord (No Pun Intended)

I have a thought for those morons in the diocese: how about you stop acting like anal-retentive, slightly mentally handicapped imbeciles stuck in the 13th century. Seriously. Dan Brown may not be the best writer ever, but he is a FICTION writer. F-I-C-T-I-O-N. Do you have any idea what that word even means? It means it’s not real. And people stupid enough to think it is real (or at least think his fictional presentation of the myth is real) are not people you should be clambering to suck up into your religious dogma. Get over yourselves and realize that people like to read books that are controversial and we like to see movies for the same bloody reason. Your attempts to stomp out “dissent” have failed over and over again. So bend over and accept that you can’t do anything about it. And, if you manage to do that, maybe you could also bend over and be flattered that someone would like to use your church as a setting in a fictional movie. Likewise, the movie is going to be made anyway, whether you let them use your churches or not. You see, Hollywood does this thing called “building sets” and it really won’t be that difficult to recreate your church. Now for a handy quote: The story drew anger and prompted calls for boycotts by church leaders worldwide with the idea that Jesus married and fathered children and by depicting the conservative Catholic movement, Opus Dei, as a murderous cult. Yes, because the Catholic church has never, ever, ever murdered someone before, right? No, not once. Heck now. That couldn’t possibly be true. Nobody died in the Crusades. That’s all just anti-religious propaganda. This is exactly why a lot of people in the world are pretty much convinced that overly religious folks are crazy. If you believe that a fictional book is real then you really are completely and utterly insane. Seek psychiatric help immediately. Please. For all our sakes.

World in the Satin Bag

Movie Review: The Happening

Once again the world proves that they really don’t understand M. Night Shyamalan. The reviews for his first rated-R film have been overwhelming negative on the critic’s side and even worse on the public’s side. Comments have ranged from supposed claims that this is an Intelligent Design movie in hiding or a poorly made film that doesn’t give you any answers. I’m curious as to how many people actually watched this film and of those that watched, how many of them attempted to not have a bias of some sort. Let’s face it, Shyamalan has been slammed by critics and “fans” alike, the vast majority of which have been disillusioned by the media (who have attempted to make his films look like something they’re not) or simply too narrow minded to realize that his films are not typical Hollywood reboots touting the same typical cliches in the same exact way as every other Hollywood scary movie (or “creepy” move, if you will).To put it simply: The Happening isn’t the best of Shyamalan’s films (I’m rather partial to Signs to be honest), but it’s also not the worst film he’s ever made. If you were to say it’s the worst, that’s not saying it’s bad at all, only that it’s not as good as his others (which I would probably agree with, but I refuse to say it’s the worst of his films). I liked this better than I liked The Village, and since I haven’t finished The Lady in the Water or seen Unbreakable I can’t place it above or below those. It’s not his best, but definitely better than the public is saying.The fact is, people don’t get Shyamalan. They go into his films expecting another Hollywood reboot of some idea, which they will almost always complain about anyway, only to be given something that requires you to either think or attempts to trick you into thinking something, only to turn the tides in the end.Now to the breakdown: Direction 3/5This isn’t Shyamalan’s best film as far as direction is concerned. I think a lot of the problem is that his characters aren’t entirely the focus here, as in films like Signs or Sixth Sense. The world at large, or at least the East Coast is the primary focus, so while the early parts of the film are absolutely superb (the way he drew together the carnage was amazing), his delivery later is missing something. I blame this on what I just mentioned: this isn’t a character story like his other films (and maybe he wanted it to be a character story, but it just didn’t work that way). He has his moments here, but it could have done better to bring more focus on the characters. Cast 2/5I’m not overly ecstatic about the cast. Wahlberg was either flat or over the top in places. His delivery was sometimes just too ridiculous (a little of that gosh-wow stuff). He had his moments though (there is a particularly great bit of dialogue revolving around a superfluous bottle of cough syrup, which is simply a classic). Unfortunately, his moments aren’t enough. Deschanel was okay, although flat, which is sort of how she acts I think. She wasn’t horrible as she was in the Wizard of Oz reboot, but she lacked a lot of depth. Again, a lot of the problems stem from this film not being a character film. The little girl, unfortunately, didn’t have a lot of lines, but Leguizamo was absolutely awesome. I really wished his character had stuck around more. There are numerous other characters that add to the cast, most of which are really good choices for their parts and fit well into the story I think. Adaptation N/AThis wasn’t adapted from anything as far as I know, so it doesn’t apply. Writing 4/5A lot of people have reamed him on his story. Either they think the science is stupid or they have this strange idea that this is an Intelligent Design propaganda film. Let’s face it, maybe Shyamalan wanted and ID movie, but what he gave us was a film that very clearly talks about science exactly in the same way that scientists would. The fact that they pass off the epidemic as an act of nature that won’t be fully understood doesn’t say that it’s God (Shyamalan thinks it does, apparently). All it does is show us why we love science: there will always be other questions that need answering.The story revolves around an epidemic in which some strange contagion turns off people’s “survival reflex” and instead flips the switch so they actually would rather die. It’s chilling and freaking creepy when we see people offing themselves for seemingly no reason. The reasons for the contagion are explained in the movie (contrary to what everyone seems to think), while still leaving a little room to wonder why. Yes, the story has some serious logic to it, based on what we know about certain parts of nature in the first place. The “infection” has a very interesting and probable base in a scientific reality (although, perhaps Shyamalan has pushed things to a higher state on purpose, because seeing this sort of thing happen at a snail’s pace would be exceedingly boring).Overall, the story works really well. The critics have blasted this film for reason that still don’t make a lot of sense to me. In fact, the whole ID argument makes absolutely no sense since it is never really established that the main characters are wholly religious. They don’t pray on screen, they don’t run around screaming “oh Lord, save me” and they don’t carry around Bibles. They’re just normal folks. It’s completely irrelevant that Wahlberg and Shyamalan are strong Christians, because the film itself doesn’t give us a long babble about such things. It’s a movie about a normal married couple trying to survive an epidemic and not knowing what the hell is going on. And it works. Visuals 5/5The visuals are by far

World in the Satin Bag

The Dystopian Fiction Database

John Joseph Adams is at it again (I don’t know what that means, it was just fun to say). He’s put together an amazing new concept: The Dystopian Fiction Database. To view the entries, go here, and if you want to add your own entries, go here. This could prove to be tremendously useful for those of us who are big fans of the Dystopian subgenre! (Don’t click the read more, there isn’t any more after this!)

World in the Satin Bag

Small Font Sizes: Good or Evil?

I have a problem with small font sizes in printed books. I probably am not the only one too. For me, small font sizes pose a big of a dilemma. You see, when I read, I like to feel like I have accomplished a good chunk of reading after an hour. But when the print is so tiny, I don’t get that satisfaction. Instead, and hour means I’ve read twenty pages (give or take five page). And it doesn’t feel good at all. I also read slower when a book has a small font size, because my eyesight isn’t the greatest in the first place and because it’s a lot harder to get into the flow when the words are itty bitty.Now, I fully understand the reason for small font sizes, or I think I do. A good chunk of monstrous novels (those beasts crossing the 800 page mark) have small font sizes and it makes a lot of sense. Imagine if those 800 page books used a typical size (10 point perhaps?). They’d probably be too big for a paperback now wouldn’t they? I imagine it saves paper and money for the publisher too, even in the case of books that aren’t enormous. So, maybe I should ask writers to stop writing big books. No, I couldn’t do that. As much as I don’t like small font sizes, I do enjoy the books that use them. I can’t help that a lot of the classic science fiction titles have small font sizes, but are also terrific reads. I also can’t help it that people write enormous fantasy novels that I enjoy that have small font sizes.I guess this all means I just have to deal with it, or buy a Kindle to solve the problem. Somehow I think “dealing with it” will be the order of the day.Does anyone else have an issue with small font sizes? (Don’t click the read more, there isn’t any more after this!)

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