Shaun Duke

Shaun Duke is an aspiring writer, a reviewer, and an academic. He is currently an Assistant Professor of Digital Rhetoric and Writing at Bemidji State University. He received his PhD in English from the University of Florida and studies science fiction, postcolonialism, digital fan cultures, and digital rhetoric.

World in the Satin Bag

Writing Updates

If any of you have been paying attention to the right column where I keep all my writing nonsense (which you’ll likely pay attention to now, if you haven’t already), then you’ll have noticed that I’m terribly behind. I hit a horrible slump. Yes, I had been writing (mostly blog posts), but I refuse to include those in my writing total unless they are essay-style.Well, I finally got on track today. I wrote roughly 2,300 words, and have finished writing two new chapters for The Spellweaver of Dern and am about 5/6th through a new fantasy short story called “The Gnomes of New Timberfax”.If all goes as planned I should finish the gnome story tomorrow and have scheduled two chapters to show up this week and next week for SoD. I apologize for the lateness. Many things came in and really sucked up my time (school mostly, as I’ve said before). I expect to have some sort of semi-regular schedule for SoD now. I’m going to try to shoot for the “new chapter every other week” thing, with my optimistic side shooting for “new chapter every week”. I am writing a load of other things.In other news about my writing in general: I’m planning to take a short hiatus from writing to do something that I need to get done. I won’t stop SoD, but other writing will come to a standstill. What could possibly be more important that writing new work? I have hit a snag in my SF novel The Lies of Venicia that can’t be resolved unless I spend a considerably amount of time developing a map for my universe. I had decided that for the time being I could just put ellipses where I couldn’t be sure of a system’s name or planet’s name due to not having a set out map of where things lie. I’m using a form of wormhole jumping for space travel, but it’s limited. You can’t jump great distances (in terms of lightyears as basic units of measurement here), which means that all jump nodes (or gates, or whatever you want to call them) have to lead to a relatively nearby location. That means you can jump from Sol to Alpha Centauri just fine, because that’s under five lightyears, but you can’t jump from Sol to Eta Cassiopeiae 2 because that’s a distance of over nineteen lightyears, which is too far for such a jump to be stable. You could do it, but you’d have to hack the network of jump nodes to do it and you’d be a moron to try (you could kill yourself or kill someone else during the jump, or both). The problem is that the galaxy is extremely complex and stars function in 3D, not 2D. That means I can’t just say “point A to point B” and draw a straight line ————– like so. I have to be conscious of where a particular stars lies in relation to other stars. Alpha Centauri it’s a straight shot if we look at the universe lying on a plane where Earth’s polar north and south are our reference points. It might be up and over to the left, and from Alpha Centauri another star may be down and back.But I don’t know where all the stars sit. I don’t have that in my head mostly because it’s really complex information (a flat map of a fantasy world is easier to remember). What this means is I need to map this universe and I’m not 100% sure how to do that yet. I’ve considered trying a 3D program, but such programs may or may not allow me to create makeshift “shipping lanes” to represent where one can jump from any location.I have one idea on how to do this. It involves using a foam base (some sort of hard foam I can stick things into) and measuring it, then putting Sol smackdab in the middle and try to scale down the coordinates proportionately. I’d use sticks or something that I can stick into the foam and basically cut them to the proper length, etc. That’s what I have right now and I don’t know if there is a better way.Do you all have any suggestions? I don’t know how else to do that. I am not a 3D whiz, nor much of an artist. I basically need a visual to represent stars that actually do exist so I can accurately keep track of things. Perhaps it can be done in a 2D display somehow. I don’t know.Anyway, I just wanted you all to know there may be a brief hiatus to do that. If you have suggestions, please let me know. Maybe there is a program of some sort to create 3D star charts or star maps of some sort. Well, having said all that I can get on with whatever it is I’m supposed to be doing (wait, that’s writing!) and head on out to the wild blue yonder (okay, that was hokey and I know it).

World in the Satin Bag

Poor Baby

Dear Mr. Obama,If you’re going to throw a temper tantrum every time someone says or depicts something about you that you don’t agree with, what exactly makes you think I want you as our Commander in Chief? Right now you don’t have your finger on the big red button, but if you became President…you would.My advice: Stop throwing a fit and realize that your political campaign from now until whenever it is you cease being a part of the Presidential world is going to be marred by rumors and this little thing called Satire. You’re supposed to be educated, so look it up in the dictionary and stop being a baby. It might be tasteless, but it’s doing what journalism does. You don’t have to like it, but stop being a baby about it. Probably the only good thing I can say about President Bush is that he doesn’t get all uppity when someone makes fun of him on television or draws a picture of him doing something questionable in satirical fashion. It might be because he’s not mentally capable of contemplating such things, but I doubt it.So please, stop being a baby and laugh. Thank you. (Don’t click the read more, there isn’t any more after this!)

World in the Satin Bag

The Science of Santa

You know, as silly as this list might be, it’s really fascinating that someone did all the math and physics for this. Just this one alone is impressive: 3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second – a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour. Check out the full list. It’s bizarre and interesting. If you’re really mean you could crush some poor kid’s dreams with this stuff. But I wouldn’t recommend it.

World in the Satin Bag

The Geek Commandments

I absolutely love StumbleUpon. It’s one of the most fascinating browsing tools you can have. The things I find using the random Stumble! button are really awesome, especially since I can choose my preferences (i.e. I can select what sorts of things I Stumble! for).Well, here is something rather funny and worthy of a little commentary:The Geek Commandments (Computer Geeks especially)I agree with almost all of these except for a few, but here is my one-by-one discussion of the options. Goodness, this definitely should be the first one. Always backup your files. Especially important stuff like writing! (Realizes he hasn’t backed up his writing folder in a while…) Duh! Do people still do this? I’d also recommend not making your password your birthday, your child’s birthday, or anything that someone might look up and try to use for your password. It’s good to have passwords that aren’t directly related to yourself, because if you piss off a friend, they’ll know what it is. Well, see, I don’t know if I agree with this one. Yes, on principle this is good advice, but at the same time you have to download the new version, because somebody has to catch the bugs, right? I agree though, avoid it, but don’t tell people to avoid it, like I’m doing now, because you want some idiot like me to download the new version so when you download it down the line it’ll be fixed up. Duh. Same goes for anti-virus (even if you’re on a Mac, because what’s going to happen to your lovely little piece of crap Mac when some loser with Mountain Dew and potato chips coursing through his veins decides to create a super virus that melts your hard drive? Yeah, exactly.) Well, I guess one shouldn’t steal the neighbor’s bandwidth. Honestly, unless the neighbor is really anal and spends his or her day calculating the fluctuations in his/her bandwidth you probably won’t get caught unless you’re doing something that really slows down the net. Agreed. I don’t have an iPod. I have something better, so ha! (Well, I think it’s better.) Duh. I delete such things quick. No. Sorry. I don’t agree. Slacking is bad. I know, I’ve been doing it lately and it’s not helping with the writing. Umm, excuse me? You know what comes to mind when I play Day of Defeat and play the sniper and completely own everyone from a distance? “Mwahahahahahahaha”. That’s right, I do an evil laugh, because it’s funny. Sorry, it’s always the computer’s fault. Never the user. Yup, that’s what I have to say about all that. Cool list though

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