SF/F Commentary

Video Found: Doctor Who Theme (SNES Style)

I don’t know if I would have played a Super Nintendo version of Doctor Who.  What would the game entail?  Solving puzzles?  The Doctor rarely kills in the series through direct action and almost never carries guns.  I suppose if you played his companions (River, perhaps?) you could make it a little more action-oriented. That said, puzzles can be fun and the Doctor always manages to get himself into situations where a little brains are needed.  Who knows?  It could have been a fun game, and this might have been the opening credits (after the fold): Cool, huh? (Thanks to SF Signal for the discovery.)

Book Reviews

Book Review: Central Park Knight by C. J. Henderson

Disappointment is an unfortunate thing when it comes to reading.  Sometimes a book doesn’t live up to the expectations set up by the cover copy.  It’s not often that this happens to me.  I’ve found books with such problems to be average or even below-average, but it’s a rare thing that a book leads me to write a review like the one below.  Central Park Knight promises adventure of the Indiana Jones variety, magic, dragons, and massive battles.  In many ways, Henderson’s delivers on these promises, but not without an inconsistent plot and a slew of other problems, all of which make this novel a weak addition to the urban fantasy genre. Central Park Knight follows Professor Piers Knight, curator at the Brooklyn Museum, a bit of an adventure, and wielder of ancient magics and other arcane things.  Of course, those last two are reluctant additions to his relatively simple life at the museum; Knight doesn’t want to be a hero.  But whenever monsters and other terrors threaten to the destroy the world, he knows he’s the only one who can do something about it.  So begins Central Park Knight:  Knight uses all his knowledge to stop a beast from beyond from ending Earth’s days, but even in the aftermath, more dark things are stirring.  An old lover once thought dead appears in his office, rumors surface of dragons stirring from the Earth, and talk of new, more terrifying ends reminds him once more why he can’t have a regular curator’s life — because Piers Knight is the only one that knows how to save the world from forces beyond its imagining. The opening chapter of Central Park Knight is my favorite part of the book.  It’s only vaguely tied to the actual story, but it gave me the impression that Henderson’s novel would resemble something akin to a New Weird novel.  The chapter consists of selections from a fictional academic talk about the existence of dragons and the study of them.  It’s fascinating, fun, and set a tone for the book.  Henderson, however, never follows through, leaving much of what was compelling about the opening chapters behind for a story that never hits its stride.  Therein lies the problem: Central Park Knight is riddled with plotting and writing problems.  One of my biggest pet peeves in literature is random POV shifts, of which Henderson seems to be an expert.  Viewpoints often shift in the middle of chapters — and sometimes even in the middle of paragraphs — in order to tell us what other characters are feeling at that moment.  More often than not, these shifts give us nothing useful to work with as readers, sucking life away from the primary POV of that chapter (usually Knight, but sometimes one of the dragons or George).  The shifts are jarring, too, and draw too much attention to themselves, which is the greatest issue here.  Once you yank me from the story, it’s hard for me to get back into it without focusing once more on the prose.  Popular prose styles aren’t meant to draw attention to themselves; that’s left to more complex and poetic writing, in which language is sometimes more subtle and nuanced.  Instead, popular prose should flow and give the reader the space to imagine what is being relayed on the page.  The POV shifts made this a daunting task because I could never be sure that the POV on the page would stay firm long enough for me to focus on the character, the scene, or the emotions of the moment. Likewise, Henderson’s prose is bloated and suffers from bizarre temporal orientations (which I’ll explain in a moment).  What could easily be said more effectively in fewer words is instead crammed full of excess verbs, prepositions, etc., sometimes to the point of being run-on sentences; such sentences are too frequent for comfort and I found myself growing frustrated when a sentence would suck up four or five lines on the page in order to tell me something that could have been told in less than one line.  And then there is the strange structure of his sentences:  actions which should be happening on the page are shoved aside by “as he did X, so he did Y” sentences; sentences with this structure are so frequent that the story often gets lost in their clunkiness.  Throw in a handful of typos, grievous grammar errors (missing words and the like that should have been caught), and stiff/clunky dialogue (the attempts to make George sound like a modern teenager read more like an offensive caricature than a realistic person) and you end up with a book which reads as poorly as it is plotted. The plot, as such, is where I’ll end this review.  The book opens with an event that, quite honestly, is far more climactic and interesting than the story we’re inevitably given.  This is a problem not only because the rest of the story is less developed and riddled with logical inconsistencies, but also because one of the characters we’re supposed to care about in the opening scene then disappears without little more than “eh, she went home” as an excuse.  I’d expect such a thing from a TV show that has to explain why one of its character (and, thus, the actor) isn’t coming back (House managed to do this by killing one of its characters), but it’s not something I would expect from a novel which is supposed to deal with developed individuals.  Since all indications on the actual book suggest that Central Park Knight is a stand-alone novel, these kinds of issues in plotting and character put a black mark on Henderson’s narrative. There are other plot issues that I could mention, but this review is already negative enough as it is.  I really wanted to like Central Park Knight.  It has an amusing premise, interesting, though undeveloped, characters, and an a mythology and history that, with proper development, could yield challenging and

SF/F Commentary

A Game of Thrones: Episode Six (“A Golden Crown”)

HBO’s A Game of Thrones is back on high form again with the sixth episode.  Dropping a number of the extra narratives lobbed at us in “The Wolf,” “A Golden Crown” is much more measured, suspenseful, and emotional.  Here we finally see Daenerys extricate herself from her horrible past, rising to her rightful place among the Dothraki (her opening scene is a brilliant foreshadow of what is to come).  Likewise, Bran’s dreams (the same ones from the previous episode which I thought were so creepy) are beginning to expand, somewhat more slowly than in the book, suggesting there might be more for Bran that we’ve already been given (these scenes have to be foreshadowing something, in my opinion).  And then there’s Tyrion, Catelyn, and the now-injured Eddard Stark.  Rumors of war.  Duels (or “a physical trial” as Tyrion might say), and plenty of bloodshed.  Needless to say, I loved all the excitement! One of the strengths of “A Golden Crown” are its payoffs.  This is an episode that finally begins to weigh in on the promises of the previous five.  Characters we’ve been waiting to have their comeuppance get just that.  It feels good.  Really good.  Part of what made me love A Game of Thrones is its ability to create characters worth hating.  Seeing such characters get what they deserve is wonderful.  There are still plenty of awful people floating around, though, and I suspect they’ll be around when A Clash of Kings hits the small screen. “A Golden Crown” also increases the tension that’s been simmering all season.  Now things are boiling over.  It won’t be long before something truly terrible happens to a character we’ve grown to love or war comes banging on the Stark’s door (or, hell, the King’s door).   And we can expect that war to be bloody and costly.  Tension is one of the things this series does well.  There is never a dull moment and we’re always kept on our toes as we try to figure out what will happen next (who will get screwed over, killed, or destroyed in some other way).  That tension is probably what keeps many people watching, since we are never quite sure when the next major event will occur, or what that event will be (unless you’ve read the book, in which case you know everything that will happen; even so, readers of the book seem to love the TV series for many of the same reasons, with the added benefit that they get to see their favorite characters alive on the screen). A Golden Crown if you please… Another thing I quite like is the attention paid to worldbuilding.  This is more a compliment for the entire series than for episode six in particular.  The Dothraki are brilliantly realized — savage, but also elegant in their own way.  All the little details in King’s Landing and Winterfell are equally fascinating (one scene in a previous episode involves Brandon reciting the symbols and mottoes of the various Houses, which I found quite amusing).  The sets are all beautiful and feel like they are part of a real world.  It’s clear HBO is making good use of its budget.  Martin’s novel is dense and rich in detail.  It’s good to know that HBO is taking the source material seriously enough to treat the world within it like a real place. My main problems with “A Golden Crown” are the same problems I had with “The Wolf.”  Lino Facioli once again flubs his lines and overacts, with a handful of exceptions, and there are added scenes, too.  Most of them actually work, however, adding depth to character arcs and keeping the story fresh and interesting.  The exception for me was the added scene of the King in the woods (on the hunt), but these kinds of criticisms have been made before and I won’t bore you with them any longer.  They are also fairly minor. Getting back to what matters, I think it’s fair to say that HBO redeemed itself with “A Golden Crown.”  It’s a strong episode with an astonishing amount of realism.  The violence in this series is one of the things I’ve always enjoyed because you can rely on it to be brutal, honest, and without much of the ridiculous flare of epic sword fights in other films.  The fights in “A Golden Crown” end with blood and gore, because that’s how they really would end if such things still happened in this world (the duel in the last half is pretty awesome).  I can appreciate that, even if I didn’t much care for the ending of the previous episode.  And I imagine when the shit hits the fan in the coming episodes, HBO will keep up its dedication to violence.  I can’t wait. Directing: 4/5 Cast: 3/5 Writing: 4/5 Visuals:  5/5 Adaptation: 4/5 Overall: 4/5 (More reviews:  Episode One; Episode Two; Episode Three; Episode Four; Episode Five; Episode Seven; and Episodes Eight through Ten.) P.S.:  Maisie Williams (as Arya), by the way, is really shining.  Every time I see her on screen, I get excited.  Arya is a fantastic character, and the more I see Williams playing her, the more I feel like she’s the perfect actress for the role.  This young one will have a brilliant future, I think. P.S.S.:  I’m well aware that Episode Seven was released online.  I would like to think that folks who have seen that episode would have the courtesy of not trying to ruin it for everyone else who was unable to watch it online.  Thanks.

SF/F Commentary

A Game of Thrones: Episode Five (“The Wolf and the Lion”)

As I mentioned in my review of Episode Four, the narrative of HBO’s A Game of Thrones has been slowly threatening to come unhinged.  Scenes have been added that I feel detract from the most important characters, leaving a small void in their stories.  “The Wolf and the Lion,” unfortunately, does more of the same, but to even worse degrees. Episode Five is, thus far, the only poor episode this season.  While there is much to love about the episode (Arya chasing cats; more of the tournament; more of Eddard Stark and the mysteries of King’s Landing; the Eyrie (sort of); and many sword battles and gruesome deaths), its greatest flaws lie in its addition of scenes which have no direct bearing on the story-lines that matter.  I’ll only talk at length about the worst of them, but there are easily fifteen minutes of unnecessary nonsense in this episode, all of which take away from some of the more interesting aspects of this stretch of A Game of Thrones.  The Eyrie, for example, gets crapped on, with less than five minutes spent showing it from inside and out.  It’s even incorrectly designed, with the Eyrie itself sticking out like a giant turd in a desolate landscape, whereas the novel makes clear it’s meant to be a series of towers built along the side of a mountain.  And it’s supposed to be impenetrable.  Yet what we’re shown is a rotten egg that doesn’t look like it could withstand a siege for more than a few hours. Similar changes are made in the final confrontation of the episode between Eddard and Jaime, which, to me, seemed to suck the life out of a scene that could have been more emotional, terrifying, and dark (the filmmakers opted for a macho action sequence).  But these are minor compared to the excess minutes spent on nonsense (though I have to admit that the dialogue between the King and Queen is growing on me). Isn’t he adorable when he’s scared? One of the most pointless scenes is practically an HBO hallmark (i.e., the gay scene):  Ser Loras (Finn Jones) shaving Lord Renly’s (Gethin Anthony) chest while they discuss his potential as a King.  This scene is, of course, concluded with a blowjob.  It’s a gay scene which makes Priscilla: Queen of the Desert practically as straight as a Rambo movie.  If Renly’s homosexuality had been established as relevant earlier in the series, I might be able to see the importance of chest shaving, but nothing of the sort has been established.  In fact, Renly has been, up until this point, a minor character, his importance resting solely on the fact that he’s the brother of the King.  The fact that he’s gay is implied in the novel, but that implication has nothing to do with the mysteries occupying the Starks in the series.  As such, this scene feels more like a throwaway or an attempt to exoticize homosexual behavior.  Sadly, most of “The Wolf” reduces characters to sex objects (Theon’s penis waves to and fro like a pendulum here), but nothing more so grievous than its treatment of gay characters.  Renly and Loras aren’t on the screen being gay together because their homosexual relationship is relevant or important; they are there because they are gay, and their gayness displayed on screen makes them objects of visual spectacle.  To me, this is a grievous offense, and almost unforgivable. You can almost see the crazy behind this boy… But “The Wolf” doesn’t stop there.  While the cast is still strong, with some still iffy choices, the addition of Lino Facioli (Robin Arryn) is perhaps the worst mistake the producers have made.  Lino flubs his lines and overacts in a way that makes the other child actors look like they have already given their Oscar winning performances.  No actor thus far this season has managed to destroy an entire scene, and nearly an entire episode, as quickly and surely as Lino.  This is despite the fact that Kate Dickie as Lysa Arryn is shockingly good as the mentally deranged mother of Robin (and sister to Catelyn Stark).  All the creepiness brought to the screen by Dickie is sucked away the moment Lino goes on his miniature tirade.  The sad thing is that the shortened scenes in the Eyrie might have actually saved the series from losing me as a viewer entirely — a small mercy, if you will. At least the interiors are cool. Thankfully, I won’t stop watching A Game of Thrones.  I think it’s a fantastic series thus far, and one poor episode this far into the series isn’t enough to yank me out.  If this had been the first episode, I might have stopped watching, but there are four great episodes that precede it.  All I hope for now is that Episode Six doesn’t fall into the same trap.  I want the quality to go back up.   We’ll find out what happens tonight.  If you haven’t started the series yet, don’t use this review as a basis for whether you should watch.  The show isn’t perfect, but every episode before the fifth are worth watching, and the overall quality of the series is high.  Every show has a bad episode.  Fans of Doctor Who know this far too well.   A Game of Thrones can be forgiven for now… I would kiss this man… Directing: 2/5 Cast: 2/5 Writing: 1/5 Visuals:  2/5 Adaptation: 1/5 Overall: 1.6/5 (More reviews:  Episode One; Episode Two; Episode Three; Episode Four; Episode Six; Episode Seven; and Episodes Eight through Ten.) For Carr, because I know you love him so!

SF/F Commentary

A Game of Thrones: Episode Four (“Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things”)

Something about three-eyed crows creeps me out.  But I suppose that’s the point of the opening of episode four:  creepiness.  In a way, “Cripples” mirrors “Winter is Coming” with its opening scene, presenting something which feels and appears like a strange nightmare, but which doesn’t have a direct tie to the episode at hand (at least, not one which is available to a cursory viewer).  The impact of this scene will likely be felt later, much as the introduction to “Winter is Coming” will reverberate through future episodes. “Cripples” is a curious episode, split, for the most part, between the mystery that has occupied the Starks throughout the series and Jon Snow’s travails at the Wall.  The most interesting remains the first, while the latter acts as a kind of (dark) comedic relief with the introduction of the pathetic Samwell Tarly (played by John Bradley, who may very well be the most perfect actor for this role).   Jon Snow’s narrative is not as compelling as that of the Starks, but not because Snow is uninteresting or the Wall is boring.  Quite the contrary.  The problem with Jon’s narrative is that what we’ve been expecting to happen hasn’t happened yet, whereas some movement has been occurring in the Stark’s search for truth.  Most of Jon’s narrative is about character growth.  We see Jon rising above his lesser status, growing as a leader and a man, and navigating the very different world of the Wall.  But the terror we saw in “Winter is Coming” hasn’t hit Jon’s world yet.  “Yet” is the crucial word.  But we have Samwell Tarly, who is as craven and pathetic as readers of the series could have hoped.  Even the added scenes with Sam are welcome in “Cripples.”  Perhaps this is because he fits into the title of the episode, but I think it’s more because Sam shows us who Jon Snow will become even while Jon struggles to earn the respect he feels he deserves from those above his stature. But the Starks are where the clearest danger lies.  As much as Jon’s superiors bear down upon him, their threats feel somewhat empty.  We’re not worried that Jon will end up dead in the morning — poisoned, stabbed, killed in battle, or what have you.  Not yet.  But we are worried about the Starks, who are in a dangerous place and playing a very dangerous game.  The cliffhanger at the end of “Cripples” only makes this danger clearer.  For me, this is the most interesting part so far in the series.  I want to know what’s going to happen to the Starks:  Will they find out the truth and bring it to the King?  Will they die trying?  Will Eddard be the next Hand to die under mysterious conditions?  It’s for this reason that I’ve begun reading ahead in the book.  I can’t wait a week to find out.  I need the answers, and if not for the fact that HBO’s A Game of Thrones is so good at making many of its characters loathsome human beings, I might not be reading at all. Despite my fascination with the Starks, “Cripples” has trouble relaying their narrative.  The episode tries to lead us into its ending, but it never quite gels.  There’s a mild disconnect between Catelyn, Eddard, and the children.  They all receive some screen time in “Cripples,” but the progression they each are supposed to suggest isn’t quite there.  The ending is a surprise for those who haven’t read the book, but that surprise lacked some of the impact it deserved, despite the fact that “Cripples” is the catalyst for all the major events that follow.  I still enjoyed the episode, but it certainly was missing something (an emotional charge or something resembling a more linear plot). My other problem with “Cripples” is that it is an episode which includes, as in episode three, additional scenes which serve little purpose other than to remind us of things we already know.  Viserys, for example, is shown in a bathtub with the woman he purchased to teach Daenerys the “womanly arts.”  They have a long discussion about the dragons of the Red Keep, and then Viserys grows angry and reminds us of his arrogance, foul attitude, and general lowly nature.  But we already knew this, and a scene later in the episode reveals that same nature, making the bathtub scene redundant.  If they intended to add depth to his character, all they succeeded in doing was make him more the awful person we thought he was.  Perhaps the writers want us to feel less for Viserys, but I think most viewers loathed his very existence in “Winter is Coming” when he sold his sister off to Khal Drogo in order to get an army and take back the Seven Kingdoms.  (There is another scene involving the King, but I think my point has been made.) I don’t particularly care for filler scenes, nor do I care for any scene which draws me away from the characters I care about.  To be honest, I would much rather spend more time with Arya, who gets very little attention in “Cripples,” than with Viserys or King Baratheon (unless Eddard is a part of the latter).  Without the aforementioned scenes, the writers could have spent more time showing Eddard’s investigations or even the tournament scene, which would have added some entertainment to a very stark (no pun intended) narrative.  There’s much more that could have been done, but instead we are gifted with a broken record.  I’ve made similar complaints about previous episodes. But, again, I am glad that these scenes are short and that most of “Cripples” is spend focusing on the important aspects of the story.  Even with these flaws, the show is still a damn fine one.  There are few adaptations that I have enjoyed as much as I am enjoying A Game of Thrones.  All I can hope for is that the quality of the series remains

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