World in the Satin Bag

World in the Satin Bag

One Day I’ll Write My Memoirs–Part One

And when people read it five hundred years from now they’ll say, “No wonder he wanted to be a writer.” Whether or not I’ll be published one day, or famous, or rich, or hell, even making a living as a writer will never remove my love for the craft. I love telling stories. Period. It doesn’t matter to me if I never get published. I’ll never give up either way. This is something that is so much a part of me that to remove it would likely kill me. Yes, it is that extreme. I love to write. It’s the only ‘hobby’ (for lack of a better word) that ever made sense to me.I imagine none of you know that I used to want to be an astronaut. Then again, I imagine many kids under the age of 10 want to be astronauts. Nobody who knew me then told me that they don’t hire asthmatics. So, like many kids, I gave that little dream up, although I would love to go to space one day. Then I wanted to study astronomy, because the stars have always intrigued me, even if I don’t understand them or the nature of the universe. Space is such a fascinating place, and I figured if I couldn’t see it for myself, I could at least study it from the ground. I’m not sure if this dream ever disappeared or if writing science fiction took away the need to peek through a telescope, but I suspect that writing about the stars and aliens and what not turned me away from that. But what got me onto writing as a passion? First, I have to say I’ve always liked writing stories, but it was always just something to do for no apparent reason. I wasn’t originally interested in developing my skills, whatever they may be, but only interested in telling silly stories. The actual turning point was senior year British Literature in high school. For those of you not from the U.S., high school comprises of the last four ‘grade levels’ or years before you go off to college/university. Senior year is the last year of those four, so it’s somewhat the most important. We were reading Beowulf (I don’t know what it has to do with British Lit., but we were reading it nonetheless) and Ms. Smith (that was our teacher’s name) assigned us to write our own poetic version of the story, in groups if we wanted to. Somehow everyone in the class thought a simple 5-10 pages would do, and so it was that everyone else turned in 5-10 pages. But my friend A.J. and I had other plans. We sat down and looked at maps of old time England, or what looked like old time England, and developed our own short English mythology that used the basic Beowulf theme of a warrior fighting off an evil monster as a backdrop. We created a couple cities that never existed, but maybe did, and we wrote a story where all the characters had special abilities. There was a mighty history between one of the villainous characters and the main character, and so much more. It turned out to be significantly more in-depth than I think either of us intended, and when it came down to it we had to come to a decision on how to write it. Everyone else was going to use typical language, but we wanted it to be more authentic. After all, with all the work we had done, why would we want to sully it with standard free-verse poetry? We decided to write it, as best we could, as one of those old time, cryptic-style epic poems. We turned simple things like swords into poetic images and invested great time into the characters, turning them into real creatures, as real as you can get in a poem, rather than cardboard figurines. And when we started writing it we realized that with one week left to go for the project, we were in for a wild ride. We’d plotted the whole story, to some extent, and when we looked at it we knew that this wasn’t going to be 5-10 pages. it turned out to be 32 pages. For a bunch of high school kids…well, you can imagine what it must be like to get a bunch of rebellious teenagers to put so much work into something. A.J. and I always worked well together I think. If he were a person with the mind to be a writer, I think we both would do well to work together, but he now serves our military, the brave and wonderful man that he is, and I think that despite my opinions of the war and our President, he belongs there. The military is his calling and I can’t imagine anyone more qualified to serve our armed forces than he. In any case, you can imagine the surprise on Ms. Smith’s face when we flopped that 32 page manuscript down on her desk. Her eyes literally went wide. I’m not joking here. Her jaw dropped, she looked at it and looked up at A.J. and I, and we were both grinning wide. We got an A, though I think we both thought we deserved a better grade considering the work we had put in. This project, however, sparked me to begin my first fantasy novel/series entitled “Revival of the Ancients”, which was a modified, deeper version of the 32 page poem we wrote, which then was called “Paladin”. “Revival of the Ancients” was a dead project from the start, but it was an amazing project nonetheless. I wrote a good 63 pages, single-spaced, in Times New Roman. That amounted to a whopping 36,500 words! But I didn’t know anything about writing then. I had read fantasy stories before and I really enjoyed building a world from scratch, but I didn’t understand POV, sentence structure, and general style. But it was my first attempt

World in the Satin Bag

Shaun’s Quick Steps to Surviving Zombies!

Yes, I realize there is a book on this subject, but I figure a nice, quick list can do some good here. After all, I’ve been planning my life around the creation of zombies for a long time. OK, that last bit isn’t really true, but I do think about it and I know what I’m going to do. So here are the steps: Arm yourself. The first thing you always do is arm yourself. Never walk anywhere, drive anywhere, or even fall down anywhere without a weapon. If you can’t find a gun in your immediate vicinity, get a large, heavy, blunt object (a sturdy golf club works, or even a towel hanger–bats, clubs, and the like work too). This is the precursor to everything else. You cannot survive zombies if you can’t defend yourself. Take all your nails, hammers, screwdrivers, screws, and any other relevant hardware, including rope. If you don’t have these things, steal them from next door. If they don’t have them, then you’re screwed. Sorry, you can’t even barricade yourself in your home without nails and a hammer. My advice is to hide and take a lot of sleeping pills so you don’t wake up. The zombies will get you eventually. Or, well, plan better next time. The biggest rule of all: regardless of the type of zombies you are dealing with, if you have to fight, hit them in the head. Always. Period. If you have a gun, DO NOT shoot them in the chest or the leg and think they will stop. No, go for the head. It saves bullets and energy. Get in your car and take your family and any living neighbors with you. This is crucial. If you want to survive, you need reliable people with you. If anyone you encounter is bitten, shoot them. This sounds cruel, but the infection travels through bites, exposure to infected blood, saliva, and yes, even other fluids–it’s an STD too. If you absolutely must take someone who is infected with you, keep a close eye on them and the second they die, or seem to have died, shoot them or hit them in the head. The first rule of surviving this is realizing that people who have become zombies are no longer the people you once knew. Your zombie mother is not your mother. It’s an evil demon using your mother as a carrier for its sickness. Once in your car and with those you trust who aren’t infected, drive and do not stop. Again, this sounds cruel, but one huge mistake you can do in your survival is stopping for people you don’t know. They could be infected, or stopping could ruin your ability to do the next steps. Go to a gun store or anywhere you think there will be guns. Gun stores are best because they carry a wide range of weapons and ammo. Take everything you can. Everyone should have a rifle, a sidearm, an extra sidearm, and then another sidearm, and ammo for all of them. Shotguns are good, high powered rifles are good, but basically anything that has the potential to break through a human skull works. Automatic weapons are best, if you can find them. You need more ammo than you do guns, so make sure you take more ammo than seems necessary. Leave the gun store and don’t linger. If zombies are about, you can’t risk sitting around shooting them. Get in your car and move. There is no time for revenge here. Find a supermarket. Steps 6 and 7 can be skipped if you have one of those super stores that has everything (i.e. Walmart). Take over the supermarket. Sweep the entire place, lock all the doors, clear out anyone inside that is infected or a zombie, and take it over. Barricade all the windows, doors, etc. If you think you had done a good job, you haven’t. Supermarkets have a lot of shelfs, metal, etc. All this should be used to get all those windows barricaded and the same goes for doors. Do it more than you think is necessary. Provisions. The hardest part. You’ve got yourself a supermarket. Congrats. But you’re not over the hump yet. Zombie infestations can last days, weeks, months, even years. You have to be prepared. First things first. Eat only produce and foods that require refrigeration first. Leave all the canned goods alone. You’ll need those canned goods. This is the time to have your last really good meals because, well, there’s a lot of food in there, and if the power goes out, well all that produce and meat goes bad. Enjoy it while you can. This might be the last bit of fresh food you’ll have for a while.While you’re enjoying this, find the second in the supermarket where there are seeds. A lot of supermarkets have potting soil and the like. Get all this and hoist up some stuff to help you plant things. Start planting anything and everything you can on the roof that is edible. Plant all of it and don’t screw up. Your life depends on it.Next, water. There is bound to be a lot of bottled stuff in a super market, but you can’t rely on that as a valid source, and fresh water is always better anyway. Find all the buckets, etc. and put them up on the roof where there is room. These will be used to catch rain water. They’ll be beneficial in the long run to provide fresh water to you when you need it.Congrats, if you’ve done all the above, you’re set! You can now survive. Just ration out the canned food and make sure everyone get only what they need and you’re good to go. The last thing is this: be prepared for other people to figure out where you are. Be prepared to face the harsh decision to turn people away, or to kill people who are infected. If someone shows up

World in the Satin Bag

My Grades For Fall 2007 at UCSC (so far)

In case anyone cares I thought I’d mentioned my grades thus far for last quarter. I’m just waiting in one more grade, which I think is a B or B+, or somewhere around there. Modern German Fiction w/ Theo Honnef: AIntro to Musical Drama (Opera) w/ Dan Seldon: A+(The + is actually meaningless unless you want to be “valid Victorian”, as I call it. Since I have no desire to be that I’m just glad it was an A) A note on both classes. I really enjoyed German Fiction. I’m keeping several of the books from it because I quite enjoyed them. Intro to Musical Drama really helped me develop a taste for opera. I’m quite fond of a few operas now and have actually seen a live opera, which was awesome. I learned quite a lot about the depth of the musical genre and even a little about the history of music and my sneaking suspicion that someone was behind the destruction of classical music, leading to the massive popularity of crap. Well, that’s a little harsh. There’s certainly so good older music, but you get the point. So just waiting on one more (Literary Interpretation). I’m rather surprised I did so well to be honest. The two courses I have been graded on are upper division, so to get such a high grade is a good thing. It really wasn’t all that challenging though. (Don’t click the read more, there isn’t any more after this!)

World in the Satin Bag

If Only Dinosaurs Were On Mars!

I found this at Futurismic and thought I’d share my excitement. Apparently an asteroid may strike Mars in January! Why is this a big deal? Well, remember the dinosaurs? Remember when scientists told us they probably died from a big impact from an asteroid or comet? Well, here’s a great chance for us to watch a large object strike a terrestrial planet! I’m hoping it will happen because this could bring about a whole slue of interesting images or videos–even more interesting than the Shoemaker-Levy 9 images here, here, and here. We might actually get to witness a significant impact on a relatively Earth-like planet (Mars is semi-Earthish, though it lacks liquid water and it is a bit different, but we could expect to gather quite a lot of info from this little red guy). You can read a bit more about the impact at this NASA article.Asteroid 2007 WD5 isn’t a very big fella (about 50 meters or 164 feet), but for a small planet like Mars it shouldn’t matter. It’ll still do a good bit of damage and leave us enjoying every second of it: We estimate such impacts occur on Mars every thousand years or so,” said Steve Chesley, a scientist at JPL. “If 2007 WD5 were to thump Mars on Jan. 30, we calculate it would hit at about 30,000 miles per hour and might create a crater more than half-a-mile wide. It’s a 1 in 75 chance. Those aren’t bad odds when you think about it. (Don’t click the read more, there isn’t any more after this!)

World in the Satin Bag

U.F.O.s: The Grand Misconception

While perusing the hilarity of creationist websites (if you need a good laugh, you should go there, because they are quite funny), I came upon something that has bothered me in the past: this preconceived notion that something that is called a U.F.O. has to be alien.    First off, the word stands for “Unidentified Flying Object”. Nothing in that forces it to be from another world. Anything that happens to be flying through the air that you cannot explain is a U.F.O. Meaning, if someone throws a plate and you see it and don’t realize it is a plate, then to you it is an unidentified flying object. Plus, it says “unidentified” the title. If you know it’s an alien spacecraft, then it’s not a U.F.O. anymore. It’s an alien spacecraft by your identification. U.F.O.s remain unidentified. That’s why we call them U.F.O.s. We don’t know what they are!    The sad thing is that if I were to go out and say “I saw a U.F.O. once”, people would automatically think I’m crazy or they would think I’m talking about aliens. I’ve never seen aliens and I’m not dense enough to automatically assume that something in the sky that I see and can’t explain is from another planet. There’s just no way to know whether something is alien without actually being told it is by the theoretical aliens inside, or actually studying the object to determine if it is. What really sucks about this notion is that any hope to have serious, legit, and well funded research into the unexplained is lost because the people who would be funding such a project are lambasted with news of aliens and little green men, rather than simply told “we don’t know what it is and we want to find out”. Maybe if more people approached it from a simple “we don’t know” approach we’d see more research into the bizarre things we see in the sky. Are they aliens or are they a government experiment, or neither? What if we found out they were weird visual anomalies left over from some previous human time when we were ruled, more or less, by fear?    So, the next time someone says “I saw a U.F.O.”, ask them if they mean aliens or if they mean something unexplained. Probably most of them will go with the alien side, but maybe you’d find someone that used the term for its original purpose. (Don’t click the read more, there isn’t any more after this!)

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