World in the Satin Bag

World in the Satin Bag

My Situation and My Waning Patience

If you’re not interested in learning a little about what has been going on in my life lately, then skip this post. Just a warning. I don’t want anyone to waste a few minutes reading this thinking they are getting something else.    I spent the last five years of my life doing the following so I could get to where I am today: going to community college without a direction, trying to find a direction, and ultimately deciding I’m good at writing and realizing I should go in that direction; wrecking my first car and then losing my job when someone stole money from the safe and, needing a scapegoat, they decided “hey, fire the night manager” only to have it come out later that it was the general manager who was actually stealing money, and had been for months; shortly after losing my job, being diagnosed with cancer, having to drop out of community college with Fs in all my classes, after which I spent six months having surgeries and poison injected into my blood stream, which thankfully resulting in me surviving; going back to community college, now realizing how much I actually like school and at this point discovering my strengths as mentioned above, and then spending years, four actually, getting all my schooling done so I could go to Uni; and somewhere intermingled there’s the struggle to get a good paying job, being unable to afford to move out on my own because medical bills make sure you can’t in California, having my second car crap out on me on more than one occasion, and all through that trying to have some sort of social life so the depression of how utterly bullcrap life can be doesn’t destroy me. Yes, there is some bitterness in there and it stems from the fact that I don’t understand why good people, whether me or the millions of others out there, have to deal with crap like the above. It’s illogical and drives me crazy.    Anyway, so when I finally got my acceptances to Uni (all three that I submitted to took me) I had to make the decision of where to actually go. UC Irvine had a good literature and creative writing program, UC Davis was only a safety school, and UC Santa Cruz was beautiful and looked promising. It wasn’t an easy decision. I didn’t want to go to UC Davis mostly because I wanted out of Sacramento for a while. But Irvine and SC were both expensive places to live in (and I generally hate LA…it’s too big for me). Well, fortune came my way when my mother moved to Santa Cruz and offered me a room (for rent mind you, so I had to pay). She’d gotten off the alcohol wagon, looked to now have a stable lifestyle (I was living with my grandmother in her enormous house prior), and it seemed her partner’s job was stable. So I thought “I could save some money on rent and it would make my mom happy to have me around”. I could get my schooling done, and not have to go too far into the hole.    Well, we can all be thankful for the Murphy’s law I guess. My car, deciding it now hates me for unknown reasons, is falling apart–the tranny leaks like mad and my rear wheel bearings are about to break. I’m still arguing with the hospital over medical bills, trying to get them to make my life a little easier by doing it right the first time. And that stable home I thought I was moving to that would let me concentrate on my studies? You guessed it, it’s decided to go right to the crapper. My mother’s partner is going to be losing her job, not because she sucks at it mind you but for reasons beyond her control that involves politics and the fact that she doesn’t take crap from anyone, even someone with a degree, and especially when that someone is wrong. This might not be such a problem if it didn’t mean the following was going to happen: they’re moving to Eugene, Oregon, which for those of you that don’t have a map, is not anywhere close to Santa Cruz to make any sort of commute possible. This has all happened in the last weeks of the quarter–i.e. the final stretch and finals. I’ve tried not to think on it too much, and my girlfriend, the wonderful person that she is, is doing a lot of things to keep me happy and trying to keep my mind off of what will eventually happen.    I’ve been thrown into a situation that I don’t think any college student should have to worry about: I might be homeless or I might have to drop out of the place I’ve spend such a huge portion of my life trying to get to. You can imagine how I’m feeling at this moment. I can’t work a job because if I do, I lose ALL of my financial aid except loans. That means, I have to work even more, which means losing some of the loans, which means working more, etc. You get what I mean. If I lose that financial aid I cannot afford to live in Santa Cruz, which is a freaking expensive place (three bedroom houses rend for $2,000 to $2,800 in relatively crappy neighborhoods).    This puts me in a terrible predicament. I need a new car, or at least a used car that I can finance. I cannot afford to pay rent and the huge deposits that people require so that I can move into a new place, and with rent so high I might not even be able to afford that, especially if it means I still have to commute to campus. My mother found a place for me to stay, but it’s well above my price range and puts me in a position to have to decide between having money to see my girlfriend

World in the Satin Bag

The Huge Announcement!

(I’m on my last essay by the way, which is due Friday) Tor recently announced something huge. Brandon Sanderson is officially going to be writing the last installment of Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series! Read the full press article here. The new novel, A Memory of Light, will be the twelfth and final book in the beloved fantasy series which has sold over 14 million copies in North America and over 30 million copies worldwide. The last four books in the series were all #1 New York Times bestsellers, and for over a decade fans have been eagerly awaiting the final novel that would bring the epic story to its conclusion. I can’t comment on Sanderon’s ability to write as I haven’t read any of his work. I have listened to interviews with him on podcasts and he certainly knows how to work with fantasy world. It is the perfect match for Sanderson, who gratefully acknowledges the role Jordan played as an inspiration to him as a writer. In the tribute piece “Goodbye Mr. Jordan,” posted on his blog, Sanderson writes to Jordan: “Personally, I feel indebted to you. You showed me what it was to have vision and scope in a fantasy series–you showed me what could be done. I still believe that without your success, many younger authors like myself would never have had a chance at publishing their dreams. You go quietly, but leave us trembling.” Hopefully this will turn out to please all of Jordan’s disparaged fans. I would hate to see all of Jordan’s fans turn on Sanderson, who seems to have a very promising career ahead of him. This is good news though, because at least the story will be finished! Sanderson will have access to Jordan’s notes and drafts, so, at the very least the story will still be the one Jordan intended to tell but couldn’t get to. Good luck to Sanderson on this!(Don’t click the read more, there isn’t any more after this)

World in the Satin Bag

Pearl Harbor: A Moment of Remembrance

Today, by the way, is a very important day in U.S. history, and an important day, I think, in the world, particularly for the allies. Today is the anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941. Many are well aware of the importance of this event. This awakened a struggling America to the brutal reality of Hitler and the Imperial Japanese (I say Imperial here because I will not in any way exclaim that the Japanese as a people are at all represented by the actions of WW2). Many lives were lost in this strategic, yet cowardly act and I feel there is cause to remember them, even if you are not an American.In remembrance: Pearl Harbor, the dawn of the last World War… (Don’t click the read more, there isn’t any more after this!)

World in the Satin Bag

The Voices of SFWA Prevail

I got this from Tobias Buckell and John Scalzi. Andrew Burt has stepped down as the chair of their e-piracy, copyright, whatever committee! Apparently he decided either that everyone was right or that all that anger at his reappointment would hurt his chances of doing anything successful. I commend him for doing this. I think he should not have stepped up to the plate in the first place, but so be it. This is for the best. While Burt might have meant well this time around, many of the people complaining about him are right: his previous record will taint anything he does.Thank Mr. Burt for stepping down. In his place we now have Russell Davis. I have no idea if he will do a good job or if he will screw up like Burt, but at least this is a chance for change. I agree with a lot of what he said in his lengthy post, so I hope for the best here. That’s good news! More good news? I finish 2 of my 4 essays! (Don’t click the read more, there isn’t any more after this!)

World in the Satin Bag

Pullman and the Church of Stupidity

I was recently having a discussion with a classmate in my Modern German Fiction class–a relatively interesting class actually–on the subject of the film adaptation of The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman. First, I haven’t read all the books so anything I am going to discuss here is from what I have read about the book online and elsewhere and what I have been told by people who have read the book. Second, some of what I’m going to bring up from the discussion from the other day may not be true. I haven’t researched it because it really doesn’t matter considering that the argument I’ll be making it still valid whether what I learned is true or not. Given the history of the relationship between literature and religion I am highly inclined to believe it.    Now, as many of you know, Pullman’s “His Dark Materials” series is highly critical of organized religion–Christianity to be specific. Pullman himself is an outspoken atheist as has been said countless times in the news and on his home page. I am not arguing that atheism is the right course for any individual, though I am what one would call a near-atheist, but I am simply making a point that is quite valid historically and presently.    My classmate brought up to me that the film adaptation, of which I have mixed feelings about to begin with, was altered in one way that seems rather disturbing and disgusting to me. Nicole Kidman, an actress I at one point had deep respect for, is catholic and refused to be a part of the film if she felt that the religious criticism within the story felt too much like a criticism of her religion. This is remarkably like the sort of hypocrisy of the fellow who played Chef in South Park (the short version being he had no problems playing his role in episodes that bashed Mormonism, Christianity, etc., but left the show as soon as Scientology, his ‘religion’, was addressed in none-too-light a fashion). So they, the film makers, have, according to my classmate, altered the story so that the religious undertones point in a different direction, and are not really catholic in feeling. Now, whether this is true is somewhat irrelevant in my opinion, but I find it morally reprehensible that anyone of any faith would find it necessary to use their influence to manipulate literature. Literature has had a long history of dealing with religious oppression. England saw many a book burnings and books have gone on and off the banned book list in the U.S.–when such a list existed here–and various other countries, many for religious reasons. It is especially irritating when religious reasons are used to remove books that criticize religion.    Religion, having brought itself up from the woodworks and solidified its value in modern society, must be open not only for interpretation, but criticism too. The day that we don’t allow literature to express itself as it always should have is the day that literature loses value. Kidman, if she has actually done as I’m told, has done something I feel is a direct insult to the very craft she has made herself a part of. Actors are there to entertain all of us as they play a role. Sometimes a message is sent, sometimes not, but in either case they have influence on society. The fact is that “His Dark Materials” criticizes the catholic church and should be left unchanged. It is irrelevant if a few people get upset, or if the church itself wages a pointless campaign to stamp out religious criticism, which some groups have tried to do with Pullman’s works and have failed miserably at. The fact is that we need criticism in this world of all ideals. People who are secure in their beliefs are not affected by criticism in the first place. For Pullman, his criticism came in the form of a trilogy of fantasy books for kids. Some might find this disturbing, that an author would target children to plant ‘evil ideas’ in their heads. Pullman, however, isn’t targeting kids to plant ‘evil ideas’. He’s doing what an author is supposed to do: tell a good story for kids. Do most kids realize that Pullman is talking about the catholic church? Probably not. Adults likely see it, but the books aren’t meant for adults, even if an adult can just as easily enjoy it.    The idea that the ideals present in “His Dark Materials” may, ultimately, be left out disturbs me. What are we teaching children these days? Not to think for themselves? Is this the future of the education system? Brainless automatons who simply repeat the same ideals over and over that they learned from their parents or elsewhere? Kids, especially, should ask questions and should ask them with the intention of figuring things out. How often do we see criticism of religion in the classroom? What I mean is that things like the crusades, the use of religion to enslave blacks, etc. are often either ignored or glossed over. This isn’t to say that I would like to see children culled from being religious. Quite the opposite. I think children need to be aware of the dark side of religion so they can make a decision as to whether they really believe or not. Perhaps parents would hate this sort of doctrine, but the idea of living in a society of people that cannot think for themselves scares me to death. The church has tremendous influence on society, and exerts that influence to push for the inclusion of its ideology in classrooms and in quelling the voices of literature–such as Pullman. There are certainly a number of religious folks who are great people, and I know many of them. But what sets them apart from people such as Kidman in this instance is that they are aware of their history and past and of the present. They know that their religion has been used to

World in the Satin Bag

Having Withdrawals…

Maybe I’m just crazy, but I’m having withdrawals right now from reading. Finals have basically started here at UC Santa Cruz, which means I have a total of four essays to write. I mentioned earlier that I wasn’t going to be reading during this period because I just had so much work to do. Well, now that I’m officially not reading for my own enjoyment I’ve found myself craving it. Literally. I’m writing one of my shorter essays because it is due tomorrow and right in the middle I stopped and wanted to reach for my book. Then it occurred to me that I intentionally didn’t bring any reading with me because I needed to stay somewhat focused–this post being a diversion of course. The sooner these blasted finals are over the better. I think the good news, at least, is that three of my essays are going to be exceedingly simple. My Modern German Fiction class requires a final 6-8 page essay on a topic of my choice, approved by the professor of course. I think my topic will be easy to do in that space and I won’t have to worry too much about revision since I know what I’m going to talk about.One of my other essays is a rewrite of a previous essay, which is required even though I really don’t see a point. That shouldn’t be too hard. I have an A- and a B on my two essays thus far in that class, and doing a revision of the B essay shouldn’t be too hard. To be honest I’m not too concerned with my grade so long as it is a B or above. I know a lot of people work really hard to get As, but I see little point in putting that sort of pressure on myself. I like not having to work too hard to get my Bs and As, which for the most part is the case anyway as I’m fairly sufficient at writing essays and being productive.The third essay is for the same class as above. We’re reading The Manifestoes of Surrealism by Andre Breton and the essay has to be an argument paper that addresses one of the points that Breton makes during his manifestoes. It’s somewhat difficult, but I think I can manage.The last essay will be the hardest. It’s for my opera class and it has to be 5-7 pages addressing some aspect of the opera Moses und Aron by Shoenberg. The problem? I cannot stand this opera. I like what is being said, but the music is so utterly horrible to me that I actually had a headache at the end. It’s not even opera. So it’s going to be difficult to address this opera I think, but I imagine I will have plenty to say on some points. We’ll see how that goes. But in the end, I’m having withdrawals. Does anyone else have this problem sometimes?

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