Mike "the Frood" Finn, The Psychohistorian (2455-???)

Born on Ganymede during the Solaris Uprising in 2455 to Orvillus and Marlynne Finn, Mike Finn was raised in extraordinarily difficult circumstances. A refugee before he could even walk, he spent the first twelve years of his life on the Tinock Colony in the tunnels beneath the surface of Saturn's moon Iapetus. Like most colonists, his development was hindered by cheap radiation shielding, poor filtration systems, and inadequate compensating medicines for low gravity environments; as a result, he spent most of his time with off-market computer training modules while receiving treatment for Plith Syndrome. At age twelve, his parents were lost during a mining accident and were declared dead, leaving Mike alone. Rather than succumb to the social pressures of “street life” and mining work, Mike instead spent three months infiltrating the computer systems of a Piner Shipping freighter and hacked his name into its crew logs, allowing him to gain passage off Iapetus to the Martian city of Olympus Supor.

Shortly after arrival, Mike hacked his way into the University of Mars at Olympus Supor and the Earth Technoskill Conglomerate. There, he spent a decade earning a B.A. in English, a B.S. in Farmocologic Psychohistory, a Ph.D in Subwarp Transit Wetware Management, and a second Ph.D in Time Dilation Business and Regenerative Psychiatry. His dissertations – “The Finn-Clericus Method for Regenerating Psychohistorical Awareness Among Off-Market Wetware Users” and “Revising Treatment Protocols for the Intermittent Emotional Effects on Miners in Ecclesiastic Kuiper Belt Conglomerates” – dramatically impacted the practices of manufacturers and mining groups, particularly by inspiring the Solaris-Ganymede Psychiatric Compact, which established the first protocols for preventing Eckrin Hyperpsydrosis and Feltcher Gravity Well Syndrome, two common “space illnesses” previously treated solely with vitamin C and puppy cuddling. These initial successes earned Mike the nickname “The Frood,” a slang term previously used to refer to the work of Sigmund Freud's great-great-great-great-great grandson, Phil Freud, a well-known clinical meditationist and rugby player.

Following his graduation from the University of Mars at Olympus Supor at the age of 23, “The Frood” acquired a job on the generation ship UGS Skipolatula on route to Epsilon Eridani B (a.k.a. Dave’s World). There, he became the ship's primary computer specialist and clinical psychohistorian. For the first forty years of the journey, he managed the Skipolatula's ship-wide exercise protocols, updated the internal entertainment system to accommodate a quadruple increase in hard drive space, and taught the first advanced unit in Child Psychohistory under the guidance of the Orpal Protocals, which helped establish rules for long-term social conditioning upon long-distance ships.

Upon arriving at Epsilon Eridani B, “The Frood” built the first exosolar fish farm and managed the Dorkin Interstellar Trade Conglomerate’s logistical records system and employee stress management center. Little is known about his later life except that he likely developed political ambitions and became mayor of Orvilleville for 32 years before retiring in the only known instance of a sofa museum.

Sometime in 2622, he simply disappeared. Some believe he walked into the Clormot Forest of singing tendrils. Others believe he caught a one-way trip to the Sorenson Abyss. Presently, there are no records of his death or whereabouts, which the Dorkin Interstellar Trade Conglomerate considers to be proof that he still lives somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight.