Paul Trajan Weimer, Lost Emperor of the Roman Underworld (6 B.C.E.-Present)

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Born under the harvest moon beneath the Devil's Bridge to Laelia of Tarraco and Faunus, Paul Trajan Weimer was raised as a goat herder. As a child, he grew fond of stories of Roman conquest and discovery beyond the Apennine Peninsula and became renowned for his perfect memory and oratory skills. Before his twelfth birthday, Augustus Caesar visited Tarraco to hear Weimer speak. The emperor was so enamored with the boy that he conscripted him into his inner council and brought him back to Rome. There, Weimer was educated by Augustus and given the official title of Imperial Narrator.

After Augustus' death in 14 C.E., Weimer served under Tiberius until 37 C.E., when Tiberius was murdered by Caligula, his successor. Afraid for his life, Weimer fled for Tarraco and passed himself off as a lonely goat herder during the remainder of the Julio-Claudian dynasty, the Year of the Four Emperors, and the Flavian dynasty. During this time, he thrice avoided assassination by imperial agents, narrowly escaped capture when a soldier from Rome recognized him while on a march in the mountains, and once was forced to kill a Roman official to prevent exposure and save his wife Tertia and son Sextus.

In 86 C.E., Weimer was discovered by Lucius Antonius Saturninus, a Roman senator and general who later attempted a revolt against Emperor Domitian. Upon realizing his discovery, Saturninus approached Weimer with a plot to replace Marcus Ulpius Traianus with an imposter capable of putting the Roman Empire back on a path of prosperity. Weimer, Saturninus claimed, bore the likeness of the soon-to-be-Emperor. Swayed by Saturninus' story of Rome's fall from grace, Weimer agreed to the plot. Unfortunately, Saturninus grew impatient and was eventually killed in his revolt by the Traianus.

Convinced that nothing would come of the Saturninian Plot, Weimer returned to his goats and quiet life until he was approached once more in 94 C.E., this time by members of Emperor Domitian's court, who were plotting to assassinate the propagandistic emperor. Together with a contingent of Roman soldiers, Weimer fulfilled the plot, removing Marcus Ulpius Traianus from public life and exiling him to Britannia, where the man served the remainder of his life as a foot soldier for the empire's expansion north. Within five years, Weimer was named Emperor of Rome after the death of Nerva, the first of the Five Good Emperors. During his reign, he successfully expanded the empire, brought renewed prosperity to his subjects, and paved the only Roman road to the Underworld.

In 115 C.E., Weimer was approached by emissaries from the Kingdom Below. Two years later, he faked his own death and disappeared. Today, we know he left to take up the mantle of the Lost Emperor of the Roman Underworld, a title conferred to exceptional rulers. No other Roman emperor ever received such an honor. Weimer retired from his duties in 1978, replaced by Bill Swiggins III, and opted for a quiet life in New America, where he currently creates podcasts and reads an excessive amount of science fiction and fantasy. Most do not know his true history except for a select few scholars on the Roman Empire and his close friends.

Weimer claims to have taken Advanced Placement (AP) classes as early as 1914. While historians agree that advanced classes for U.S. high school students might have existed in the early decades of the 1900s, the AP program did not begin until 1952 with support from the Ford Foundation and under the guidance of Gordon Chalmers of Kenyon College. In reality, the AP program began as one of the first public tests of the MK Ultra program to determine if U.S. high school students could be induced to psychic abilities by advanced study using Wolfgang Schneider's theories of education, which had been smuggled out of Nazi Germany by the U.S. Army sometime in 1943. Truthfully, little is known of Weimer's childhood education, as few public documents exist about these experiences.

Since 1942, Weimer has been implicated in a housing scheme in which his U.S. Postal Service address is routinely rotated between one of thirty-seven homes across the continental United States. The most infamous of these homes is located in Amber, KS, an unincorporated town in eastern Kansas with an unknown population. Some have argued that this scheme allows Weimer to avoid paying income taxes to the IRS, but this has been disputed by the U.S. government, which claims to know nothing of the scheme. In 2018, Russian spy satellites took infrared photographs of Weimer's Amber home and refused to release a report of the findings. Two years later, a Russian defector brought with him a portion of the report and turned it over to the U.S. government. These were subsequently placed in the restricted section of the National Security Archive. To date, the public remains unaware of the contents of the report.