World in the Satin Bag

Silly Reader Questions: Super Powers, Magic, Bathrooms, and Poetry

This week we have a few more silly reader questions. We’ll go in reverse order this time around and start with GothixHalo: Why in books do they never have them going to the bathroom? I don’t know if anyone is aware, but it is actually illegal to write about going to the bathroom in books. Yup. Sometimes it happens, but if you do it you’re likely to be sued. You see, back in 3100 B.C. a guy named Nunchuck Dungfoot (anglicized from the original language to make it easier to remember) invented the first toilet and he declared that the whole world must acknowledge his invention lest he curse mankind to the fiery bowels of hell. Unfortunately, that has carried on into the modern world as an unofficial ban on discussing the use of bathrooms in literature. Discussing such things will result in the Trans-Orkneyan Liberation Front showing up at your house to serve you with papers. I know, it sounds insane, but that’s what happened to that guy who supposedly “lied” in his non-fiction book on Oprah’s show. Remember that? It was a cover for his writing about a bathroom. He’s since disappeared, which tells me that he was probably murdered by the Trans-Orkneyan Mafia. Yes, I’m making all this up. I have no idea why nobody writes bathroom scenes in their fiction. They just don’t. GothixHalo also asks: Why do people not like poetry, but love songs, which are basically music set to poetry? Because people are too stupid to realize that they’re basically the same thing. There’s really no difference between poetry and song lyrics, except that one is traditionally sung, while the other is not–although, historically this isn’t true. That’s basically it. For the record: song lyrics are poetry, and if you hate poetry, then you also hate song lyrics. This is a strange conflict that everyone needs to acknowledge. Lastly, Mulluane sends this question: Super power or magical power? I don’t quite understand what differentiates these two things. Can’t a magical power also be a super power? And do I have to choose one or the other? Let’s be fair, with such a vague question you can’t honestly expect me to choose one over the other. I’m taking both. I want super powers and magical powers. Why? Because in the event that someone figures out a way to neutralize my super powers, I’ll still have a fallback with which I can whoop some major superhero ass. Oh, what, you took my super ability to shoot energy beams out of my eyes? Yeah, well, I put a curse on you, fool! May you forever listen to the Sound of Music in your head, forever and ever and ever and ever. Yeah, it’s like that. But maybe I shouldn’t be allowed to have any abilities. I think I might abuse them. I can imagine myself getting revenge on people who bother me, and that’s not how super heroes are supposed to act. ————————— If you have a question, whether silly or serious, about science fiction, fantasy, writing, or, well, whatever, feel free to leave it in the comments, email it to me at arconna[at]yahoo[dot]com, or tweet it to @shaunduke. If you liked this post, feel free to stumble it, digg it, tweet it, or whatever. Thanks!

World in the Satin Bag

Memorial Day: A Fond Thank You

To all the men and women of the U.S. Armed Forces, from the dawn of our country to the present, who have died serving the people of the United States of America, I say thank you. Whether you fought in the Revolutionary War or Iraq, you deserve every American’s thanks and gratitude. It matters not whether the war was just, because Memorial Day is not about the decisions of politicians, it is about the men and women who died doing what their country asked them to, who sacrificed their lives for every one of us.So, again, thank you.

World in the Satin Bag

How Independent Bookstores Can Survive

The other day Mulluane pointed me to an interesting discussion on independent bookstores and blogs and one of the quotes stood out to me as a particularly absurd statement: Very small stores may not have the time or the resources to devote to maintaining a blog. Small to mid-size stores may not be able to dedicate someone to consistently write a blog (and you must be consistent). Some bookstore owners or managers may not feel they have the technical expertise or Internet savvy to create a blog. Some stores question the effectiveness of a blog in generating sales. I’ve heard all the excuses. Small stores don’t have the time or resources to devote to a blog? Perhaps this explains why so many independent bookstores are suffering right now and have been suffering for a while: they simply haven’t converted. I would argue that the only hope for independent bookstores to survive is to establish web presences, to enlist the avid support of cause-oriented web-goers, because there will be a point when almost all purchases, particularly of books, will be made online, rather than in the store, and no store can hope to survive if it cannot make itself available online. But that’s not what this post is about. This is about blogging on a busy schedule and a tight budget (and it is advice that is useful to anyone, not just bookstores). I think the above quote really makes it clear what kind of people tend to run independent bookstores: not particularly web-savvy ones. Blogging is essentially free, and probably always will be so long as places like Blogger and WordPress continue to offer their services. Obviously bookstores want to host their own websites, which does cost money, but a blog is free to start and relatively easy to transfer over to a personal domain, which I’m not going to talk about here. Basically, you don’t have to pay anything to start a blog and maintain it. You can use a free service, get a free template that suits you, and blog like nobody’s business. But bookstores also have resources: they have supporters, friends, etc. There’s no reason why an independent bookstore cannot create a small following of Internet friends who would be happy to provide their words free of charge to support the store. This is why we have websites dedicated to supporting independent bookstores and why the Internet is flooded with people who buy indie (there’s sort of a movement both online and otherwise that puts the indie store at the top, and I suspect this is an extension of the hippie movements). This all depends on the store and the people who run it. Independent bookstores cannot hope to survive the rapidly technologizing industry without adopting within themselves the complicated mechanisms that make up the Internet. They have to adopt new practices including social networking on places like Twitter and Facebook, creating websites that incorporate all aspects of bookselling and promotion (from author events to buying books online), and reaching out to supporters. This isn’t to say that doing these things will guarantee the survival of indie stores. I suspect that bookstores are a dying breed; we’ll likely reach a point where only a handful of stores will exist, whether chains or otherwise. When even massive stores like Powell’s are feeling the burn (a store that has, in my opinion, surpassed any other bookstore in existence by not only having the widest possible selection–which, understandable, not all stores can have–but also staff who have actual experience in the various genres/sections of the store itself) it is perhaps a bad omen for bookselling in physical form in general. But the death of the independent bookstore need not be because of negligence. Let it be because of forces outside of their control (shifting buying habits, change in markets, the economy). There is no reason why independent bookstores cannot devote some time to their own promotion online, and it is, in my opinion, and essential part of running a bookstore. If you don’t have time to do even something as simple as running a blog, then don’t be surprised when your store dies because nobody knows about it.

World in the Satin Bag

SF/F Links: A Few More May Goodies

I have a handful of new links that you all might be interested in. The blogosphere is certainly alive this month! Enjoy: SF Signal’s new Mind Meld is up (I took part this time around, actually). The question: Which science fiction, fantasy, and/or horror books would you recommend to a friend who has never read them before?Got any suggestions? Gizmodo makes an interesting argument as to why Asimov’s Laws of Robotics are total B.S. Interesting stuff. Tumblon talks about why fantasy literature matters for children. I absolutely agree. Aliette de Bodard lists some great software for writers. Worth checking out. Jeremiah Tolbert suggests some interesting reasons why not to blog about writing. I don’t necessarily agree, but it’s interesting stuff nonetheless. Follow the Reader asks whether the new Kindle blogs feature is a double-edged sword. What do you think? Publishers Weekly talks about book marketing methods and which ones are most effective. (Thanks to SF Signal) ScifiWatch lists five ways to increase sales, save money, and promote publicity. Good stuff. Fantasy Book Reviewer raises some valid concerns about reviewing books too early. I’ve often thought that doing so is counterproductive, but his post says everything I’d like to say about the issue, and then some. Catholic Sensibility has a really interesting take on theology and science fiction. I don’t necessarily agree, but it’s still worth reading. Seriously. Apocalyptic language and science fiction. Good stuff. Electric Velocipede talks about starting a zine, with a few humorous bits tossed in there. (Thanks to whomever I got this from) And that’s it. Hope you find the links interesting!

World in the Satin Bag

Movie Review: Wolverine (X-Men Origins)

This summer isn’t shaping up to be a particularly good one for movies, at least not for me. While I didn’t despise Wolverine like I did Star Trek, I also didn’t think it was that great of a movie. Okay? Sure, but far from what was necessary to do justice to the origin story of the Wolverine character–arguably the favorite of the X-men next to, perhaps, Professor X. X-Men Origins: Wolverine is, to put it bluntly, a mostly pointless story of how Wolverine became, well, Wolverine. It follows him as a young boy with a troubled and conflicted past to a young man waging a personal war alongside companion/brother Victor Creed (a.k.a. Sabertooth). When Creed’s insatiable drive for violence lands both of them in a military prison, and subsequently in front of a firing squad that fails to kill them for obvious reasons, they are approached by a fellow we’ve met before (William Stryker) who convinces them to join his special team with “special” privileges (which essentially means they can do whatever they want). Logan, however, decides he’s done with that life and skips town, resolving to start a new life without death and murder surrounding him. But apparently you can’t just leave the team and expect never to hear from them again, and when Logan’s past comes back to haunt him and destroy his life, we find out what happens when the wolverine let out of its cage… Wolverine isn’t a bad movie, per se, but it’s not a particularly good one either. I would say it’s more along the lines of an okay movie, one which entertains only enough to keep you from leaving the theatre, but not a film that makes you ooh and ahh–although there were some points where I verbally indicated that an event on the screen must have hurt. Wolverine’s flaws are partly due to the fact that it is a prequel and partly due to some rather mediocre computer graphics. The problem with prequels, and especially with the Wolverine story, is that we already know what’s going to happen. We know that Logan meets up with the X-men at some point in the future and that all his lost memories–or at least most of them–are eventually unlocked–you find out which ones he never finds out in this movie. So, it seems somewhat pointless to have a story that tells us how he became Wolverine when we kind of already know. That isn’t to say that his origins aren’t important, just that this suffers from many of the problems that plagued the Star Wars prequels as stories. And it’s more so with Wolverine because we were given an enormous amount of detail in the X-men movies. The plot for Wolverine is pretty easy to follow, though it does get a tad convoluted towards the end. I don’t think this is necessarily a problem, though I think the writers could have dug deeper into the ethical issues within the story–but it’s an action movie, so I guess I shouldn’t expect deeper storylines. I do think the ending itself is somewhat questionable; we needed, in my opinion, more to go on to understand and accept what happens. Probably one of the most glaring issues with Wolverine, however, isn’t the story, but the computer graphics. There were far too many moments in which questionable computer graphics were used, often at times when one could easily have put the actors on strings and achieved a far better result. There are times when Wolverine’s claws look almost like someone had fabricated them for a video game rather than for a film, which would have been fine if we were playing a video game rather than sitting calmly in a theater. I’m not sure where the folks behind this film moved away from the relatively competent CG work of the X-men movies, but the departure here is a monumental failure. When the audience becomes painfully aware that they are looking at computer graphics and not something that is either real or pretty darn close, you start losing credibility, particularly because the more we’re exposed to such things, the more we start to lean away from that leap of faith moment that allowed us to buy the premise of the story itself. So, why the filmmakers half-assed the computer graphics in this film is beyond me. Ten years ago, this would have been top notch, but now it looks like a bunch of amateur filmmakers were trying to make an awesome fanfilm. To me, there is no logical reason for any major Hollywood production to have such weak visuals; the technology is readily available and affordable. But beyond this, the film is a mixed bag. The cast are good in some respects, and questionable in others. Liev Streiber was surprisingly effective as Sabertooth; he was menacing, wicked, and kind of scary. I had been concerned that he wouldn’t pull it off, but I think he was, perhaps, the best choice for the character. Other good choices: Kevin Durand as Fred Dukes/The Blob, Dominic Monaghan as Bradley, and Will i Am as John Wraith. Taylor Kitsch as Gambit left a little to be desired; yes, I think he managed to capture the character fairly effectively, but his accent was off and needed some fine tuning, some enhancing to give it enough of that Cajun flavor. Where the cast gets questionable, however, are in its selections for Stryker and Deadpool. As much as I like Ryan Reynolds, I am also a bit sick of him. He essentially plays himself in everything he’s in, and it was impossible for me to separate his rendition of Deadpool from his character in Blade 3. The fellow who played Stryker never came off as evil as the fellow who played him in the X-men movies and was largely forgettable. Most of the other actors, unfortunately, can be forgotten in this film, and that’s really a sad thing when you realize that some of them are actually

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