World in the Satin Bag

Spectra Pulse Magazine?

/

I have a question for you all. Do you know anything about the Spectra Pulse Magazine? I was recently at Borderlands and discovered this free issue (the premiere issue for 2008 apparently) and decided to pick it up because it sounded interesting…and it was. In fact, I want to get more of it. It’s really good, beautifully made, and I’m quite impressed. I’ve never heard of it before (I know it’s in connection with the SF/F publishing imprint), but if this is a new regular print or something I’d like to be subscribed. It was that good. Anyone know anything about it? (Don’t click the read more, there isn’t any more after this!)

World in the Satin Bag

Book Meme: The 1001 “Must Read” Books

/

This is a long list, but a cool one. These are the 1001 books you must read before you die, or at least that’s what the title of the list said. So, let’s turn this into a meme. It’ll take a while, but so be it. The RulesBold all the titles you have read and italicize only the titles that you really want to read (don’t italicize titles you only kind of want to read, otherwise you’ll spend three weeks doing this list). That’s it. You can change the rules as you see fit, though. I’m tagging anyone who wants to do this. Here goes: Never Let Me Go – Kazuo Ishiguro Saturday – Ian McEwan On Beauty – Zadie Smith Slow Man – J.M. Coetzee Adjunct: An Undigest – Peter Manson The Sea – John Banville The Red Queen – Margaret Drabble The Plot Against America – Philip Roth The Master – Colm Tóibín Vanishing Point – David Markson The Lambs of London – Peter Ackroyd Dining on Stones – Iain Sinclair Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell Drop City – T. Coraghessan Boyle The Colour – Rose Tremain Thursbitch – Alan Garner The Light of Day – Graham Swift What I Loved – Siri Hustvedt The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time – Mark Haddon Islands – Dan Sleigh Elizabeth Costello – J.M. Coetzee London Orbital – Iain Sinclair Family Matters – Rohinton Mistry Fingersmith – Sarah Waters The Double – José Saramago Everything is Illuminated – Jonathan Safran Foer Unless – Carol Shields Kafka on the Shore – Haruki Murakami The Story of Lucy Gault – William Trevor That They May Face the Rising Sun – John McGahern In the Forest – Edna O’Brien Shroud – John Banville Middlesex – Jeffrey Eugenides Youth – J.M. Coetzee Dead Air – Iain Banks Nowhere Man – Aleksandar Hemon The Book of Illusions – Paul Auster Gabriel’s Gift – Hanif Kureishi Austerlitz – W.G. Sebald Platform – Michael Houellebecq Schooling – Heather McGowan Atonement – Ian McEwan The Corrections – Jonathan Franzen Don’t Move – Margaret Mazzantini The Body Artist – Don DeLillo Fury – Salman Rushdie At Swim, Two Boys – Jamie O’Neill Choke – Chuck Palahniuk Life of Pi – Yann Martel The Feast of the Goat – Mario Vargos Llosa An Obedient Father – Akhil Sharma The Devil and Miss Prym – Paulo Coelho Spring Flowers, Spring Frost – Ismail Kadare White Teeth – Zadie Smith The Heart of Redness – Zakes Mda Under the Skin – Michel Faber Ignorance – Milan Kundera Nineteen Seventy Seven – David Peace Celestial Harmonies – Péter Esterházy City of God – E.L. Doctorow How the Dead Live – Will Self The Human Stain – Philip Roth The Blind Assassin – Margaret Atwood After the Quake – Haruki Murakami Small Remedies – Shashi Deshpande Super-Cannes – J.G. Ballard House of Leaves – Mark Z. Danielewski Blonde – Joyce Carol Oates Pastoralia – George Saunders Timbuktu – Paul Auster The Romantics – Pankaj Mishra Cryptonomicon – Neal Stephenson As If I Am Not There – Slavenka Drakuli? Everything You Need – A.L. Kennedy Fear and Trembling – Amélie Nothomb The Ground Beneath Her Feet – Salman Rushdie Disgrace – J.M. Coetzee Sputnik Sweetheart – Haruki Murakami Elementary Particles – Michel Houellebecq Intimacy – Hanif Kureishi Amsterdam – Ian McEwan Cloudsplitter – Russell Banks All Souls Day – Cees Nooteboom The Talk of the Town – Ardal O’Hanlon Tipping the Velvet – Sarah Waters The Poisonwood Bible – Barbara Kingsolver Glamorama – Bret Easton Ellis Another World – Pat Barker The Hours – Michael Cunningham Veronika Decides to Die – Paulo Coelho Mason & Dixon – Thomas Pynchon The God of Small Things – Arundhati Roy Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden Great Apes – Will Self Enduring Love – Ian McEwan Underworld – Don DeLillo Jack Maggs – Peter Carey The Life of Insects – Victor Pelevin American Pastoral – Philip Roth The Untouchable – John Banville Silk – Alessandro Baricco Cocaine Nights – J.G. Ballard Hallucinating Foucault – Patricia Duncker Fugitive Pieces – Anne Michaels The Ghost Road – Pat Barker Forever a Stranger – Hella Haasse Infinite Jest – David Foster Wallace The Clay Machine-Gun – Victor Pelevin Alias Grace – Margaret Atwood The Unconsoled – Kazuo Ishiguro Morvern Callar – Alan Warner The Information – Martin Amis The Moor’s Last Sigh – Salman Rushdie Sabbath’s Theater – Philip Roth The Rings of Saturn – W.G. Sebald The Reader – Bernhard Schlink A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry Love’s Work – Gillian Rose The End of the Story – Lydia Davis Mr. Vertigo – Paul Auster The Folding Star – Alan Hollinghurst Whatever – Michel Houellebecq Land – Park Kyong-ni The Master of Petersburg – J.M. Coetzee The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle – Haruki Murakami Pereira Declares: A Testimony – Antonio Tabucchi City Sister Silver – Jàchym Topol How Late It Was, How Late – James Kelman Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis de Bernieres Felicia’s Journey – William Trevor Disappearance – David Dabydeen The Invention of Curried Sausage – Uwe Timm The Shipping News – E. Annie Proulx Trainspotting – Irvine Welsh Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks Looking for the Possible Dance – A.L. Kennedy Operation Shylock – Philip Roth Complicity – Iain Banks On Love – Alain de Botton What a Carve Up! – Jonathan Coe A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth The Stone Diaries – Carol Shields The Virgin Suicides – Jeffrey Eugenides The House of Doctor Dee – Peter Ackroyd The Robber Bride – Margaret Atwood The Emigrants – W.G. Sebald The Secret History – Donna Tartt Life is a Caravanserai – Emine Özdamar The Discovery of Heaven – Harry Mulisch A Heart So White – Javier Marias Possessing the Secret of Joy – Alice Walker Indigo – Marina Warner The Crow Road – Iain Banks Written on the Body – Jeanette Winterson Jazz – Toni Morrison The English Patient – Michael Ondaatje Smilla’s Sense

World in the Satin Bag

WBM: It’s Over

/

Well, world building month is over, but I’ve decided to keep going. Why? Well, first off it’s because I started late. I didn’t hear about it until almost a week after it started, which means I missed out on almost seven days worth of world building anyway. Most importantly, however, Lindsey was visiting from England for three weeks of August, which means that for three weeks of August I was preoccupied with more important things (such as spending time with the woman I love because we don’t get to be together like normal couples on a day to day basis). So, I’m going to continue with the world building and post about it here on WISB. I like Altern and I don’t want to stop just because world building month is over. So, I shall continue! (Don’t click the read more, there isn’t any more after this!)

World in the Satin Bag

The Fantasy Novelist’s Exam: My Answers and Results

/

Discovered this here the other day and thought I should do it too. The list itself is from here. I’m going to answer the questions based on WISB rather than anything else I’ve written. Here goes:1. Does nothing happen in the first fifty pages?No. A lot happens in the first and second chapters, all within that 25 page mark. 2. Is your main character a young farmhand with mysterious parentage?Nope. His parents are pretty clear and he doesn’t work on a farm. He a laptop computer and likes the Interwebs. 3. Is your main character the heir to the throne but doesn’t know it?Nope. He has no throne. 4. Is your story about a young character who comes of age, gains great power, and defeats the supreme badguy?Sort of, but not really. He never comes of age, but he does have to deal with being young and directly facing violence that he would otherwise only read about in textbooks. He doesn’t beat the bad guy in the first book, technically. He beats him, but it’s not really a defeat in the traditional sense, since the bad guy hasn’t lost his power, etc. In later books this will change, but there will be some huge shifts in certain aspects of that storyline where this won’t apply anymore. 5. Is your story about a quest for a magical artifact that will save the world?No, although there will be something like this in later books, but not nearly as cookie cutter as this question makes it sound. This artifact won’t save the world. 6. How about one that will destroy it?Nope. Not even remotely close. 7. Does your story revolve around an ancient prophecy about “The One” who will save the world and everybody and all the forces of good?No prophecies. He is kind of “the One”, but not really. People know he’s important, but he won’t become the iconic super character that saves everything by himself. He’s surrounded by a very important cast and can’t do everything on his own. 8. Does your novel contain a character whose sole purpose is to show up at random plot points and dispense information?Kind of, but not really. James has a spiritual guider, for lack of a better term, but there aren’t any long-winded infodumps or anything like that. 9. Does your novel contain a character that is really a god in disguise?No. God no (no pun intended, or maybe I do intend the pun). 10. Is the evil supreme badguy secretly the father of your main character?No. Never in a million years. 11. Is the king of your world a kindly king duped by an evil magician?Nope. The closest thing to a king thus far was killed in a battle. It was a gruesome death, although the main character didn’t see it. No evil magician duping. He fought and he died. 12. Does “a forgetful wizard” describe any of the characters in your novel?Not in the sense this question means. I have a character who uses magic that forgets things, but it’s not a commonality. It’s just, well, normal forgetfulness. We all forget things. 13. How about “a powerful but slow and kind-hearted warrior”?Not really. Darl is a grumpy old man who hates everything, and Iliad is kind-hearted, but he’s really fast, being a scout and all. 14. How about “a wise, mystical sage who refuses to give away plot details for his own personal, mysterious reasons”?No. If a character doesn’t speak about something it’s because he or she legitimately doesn’t know something. 15. Do the female characters in your novel spend a lot of time worrying about how they look, especially when the male main character is around?No. Laura will deal with some of that, cause she’s young and that will be some silly thing she’ll think about, but my female characters are mostly strong females. One of them is a healer who happens to be the resident mother, but also owns in a fight. 16. Do any of your female characters exist solely to be captured and rescued?Yes, kind of. Laura is kidnapped in the beginning and James goes after her kidnappers, but in the next book it changes because she becomes integral to the rest of the story. The whole story doesn’t revolve around her kidnapping. 17. Do any of your female characters exist solely to embody feminist ideals?No. Not intentionally at least. 18. Would “a clumsy cooking wench more comfortable with a frying pan than a sword” aptly describe any of your female characters?Not technically. Triska doesn’t have either and she isn’t a wench, but she doesn’t carry weaponry like others. 19. Would “a fearless warrioress more comfortable with a sword than a frying pan” aptly describe any of your female characters?No. Triska isn’t a warrior. She’s a mother/healer. 20. Is any character in your novel best described as “a dour dwarf”?Nope. I have one short character in the main group and he’s not dwarf-like at all. 21. How about “a half-elf torn between his human and elven heritage”?Good lord no. Elves in my world fit more into the folkloric version–short and related to the faery. 22. Did you make the elves and the dwarves great friends, just to be different?Nope. I don’t think I even have dwarves in my world. 23. Does everybody under four feet tall exist solely for comic relief?Nope. Pea may be hilarious, but he’s not there entirely for that. He’s my fun character, sure, but he’s also really important because he happens to be the first character James befriends in Traea and the one character who really looks after him, other than Triska. 24. Do you think that the only two uses for ships are fishing and piracy?Nope. My ships are used for trade, transport, etc. 25. Do you not know when the hay baler was invented?I don’t know, so yes. I’m assuming this question means the ones we use now and I am aware that those didn’t exist in 1100 AD or some

World in the Satin Bag

WBM: Bestiary–Knockers

/

Location and General InformationKnockers are found underground either in undiscovered underground caves and caverns, or in mines. Some knockers have been found in the sewage systems of cities, but it is thought that these are either rejects of knocker culture or confused or poisoned individuals who have become lost. On some occasions a particularly crazy knocker may inhabit a cellar.Knockers are best known by miners for their mostly helpful nature. They are naturally in tune with the earth and can sense where the richer veins of minerals are, signalling with knocks or bangs. So long as the knockers are fed, they are more than willing to help miners find their riches, but the moment someone denies them their indulgences they can become violent. They are too small to cause serious damage by themselves, but they can lead miners to dangerous areas or cause havoc.For fun, the knockers like to make their appearances more disgusting than they naturally are. This can scare miners who aren’t expecting it. DescriptionsKnockers are roughly a foot tall. Their faces are wrinkly and covered in warts and bumps and they have milk-white eyes; their heads are too large for their bodies, but they seem to show no strain in holding up such big craniums. Their torsos, arms, and legs are almost always sickeningly thin, even though they are healthy. They tend to have no hair, but sometimes they have little greasy strands on the points of their heads. For clothing they often wear small helmits and worn clothing of various colors. Sometimes they have thick boots, but most of the time they walk barefoot. MagicKnockers, as mentioned, are naturally in tune with the earth, always aware of where the rich veins of minerals are or where the earth is loose and might post problems for miners. Additionally they have the ability to alter their appearances, but only in one direction–making themselves look uglier. Beyond this they have no other magical abilities. CreationThere are no female knockers, oddly enough. They are instead born from the earth. Altern’s inner core produces surges of lava on occasion that plow over rich soil and forest. It is from this explosion of molten rock that they are born, rising from the drying remains of volcanic eruptions. They mold their faces while the lava is still pliable and then they walk away in search of dark recesses to hide in or miners to aid. CultureKnockers are not an overly complex people on the surface. They seem more like tricksters or mimickers rather than individuals, seeing how they spend their days helping minors, pretending to be minors themselves, or trying to ruin miners who have wronged them. But they do have a culture that is relatively unique that is not influenced by human culture. There have been twenty-seven knocker wars, all of which have resulted in the closure of many mines that were once profitable. Knockers absolutely hate arrogance, especially among their own kind, and it is seen as a sign of disrespect and worthy of punishment. The problem is that knockers often become arrogant when dealing with arrogant knockers or people. Wars break out regularly, but thankfully humans are mostly unaware of them.Additionally the knockers are quite fond of celebrations and are greatly honored when humans invite them to human parties. Knocker parties are far different from human parties, however, as they often play a game called Bontrussle–almost always in intense competitions. Bontrussle is essentially a rock throwing competition, but inside of a cave system, where each knocker takes a turn chucking a rock down the tunnel, the object being to have the most ricochets and the longest distance. Accusations over someone cheating are made every single time.So, knockers are not as simple as they might seem.

World in the Satin Bag

McDonald’s, Gays, and Retarded Rightwing Christians

/

An appropriate subtitle to this would be: Why boycotting McDonald’s won’t do a damn thing. So, according to Fox, the ever fair and balanced network (yes, as fair and balanced as Hitler, bah!) a Christian Group is boycotting McDonald’s after they made a donation to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. How many people are boycotting thus far? Two-hundred thousand. Why won’t this matter one tiny bit? I give you the following quote from the McDonald’s website in their FAQ section: Every day McDonald’s serves more than 47 million customers around the world. That’s every day. Not every year, every month, every fortnight, or every week. That’s every single day. All 365 of them. That means McDonald’s serves roughly 17,155,000,000 people a year (not individuals, obviously). That also means that McDonald’s has likely sold enough french fries to alter the tides in the ocean. We should all be concerned.Anyway!Now, let’s just assume that all 200,000 of those on the boycott list keep up with it for the whole year. Heck, why don’t we give them the benefit of the doubt and say they manage to get 500,000 who can stick it out for a whole year, which I highly doubt will occur. McDonald’s will have lost a total of 182,500,000 customer sales. Sounds like a lot, right?Not really. That’s actually minuscule. They’ll have lost probably a couple billion dollars, but you want to know how they can make it up? Charge one penny more on every item on the list. Yup. One penny. Most of us wouldn’t notice and almost all of us wouldn’t care. Heck, you could just charge a penny on things with a 9 on the end of the price, just so you can keep your precious dollar menu. Guess what? McDonald’s now earns almost 17 billion extra dollars assuming everyone buys one item not on the dollar menu.And guess what? McDonald’s can shell out all the money they want without worrying about the wacko religious right not buying their products anymore. How long do you think you could live without a McDonald’s menu item, hmm? Guaranteed most of those boycotting won’t last more than six months. So, having said all that, I can say with absolute certainty that absolutely nothing will come of this boycott except McDonald’s going “huh, we can just charge a penny more on the Big Mac and make up the difference…go figure.” Stick by your principles all you want, but you look like a homophobic moron, you smell like one too, and most of the country will walk by you and giggle cause you’ll have done absolutely nothing for your cause except prove that you’re a homophobic moron. But hey, if that’s what you’re shooting for, then more power to you. Everyone should be able to live their dream right? If you can be a homophobic moron then I can be an astronaut! Ha!

Scroll to Top